Scrap Metal Battle Boat

Sassy B rather recently got T2 battleship guns, this is something I was TOTALLY JEALOUS OF, so I've been training for them myself. Just eleven days to go \o/. My impatience has led me to roam this weekend in a cheap tempest with 300k isk named guns. All in all I lost about 20mil after insurance, when it exploded a few hours ago. I TOTALLY GOT MY ISKS WORTH!

FIRST BLUD!!!

Newly fit up I jump into Floseswin, I warped to the Uisper gate and when I land the gate flashes, so I decide to see what arrives. An Arazu appears and then cloaks up 15k from me. A Wolf class space boat then de cloaks and tackles me. I lock it up and hold my aggro waiting for the Arazu which I intended to primary. Then the Arazu de cloaks and attacks 10K FROM ME!!! lol wat. I then turn my gaze to the Wolf, who had kindly started moving to 13k TO BE IN HIS SMALL ARTY OPTIMAL??? needless to say that was somewhat a better distance for me to track him at.

MIGHTY GALLANTA BATTALKRUISER!!!

Satisfied that my pest had already earned its keep. I head out a little later towards Ezsur. Upon arriving in Ezsur I'm promptly tackled by a Myrm. I DECIDE TO MAKE BATTAL. The Myrm is orbiting me close and has me webbed and scrammed, and I'm having a rather hard time tracking him. But first things first, an opportunist AMARR KRIMINAL had landed in a Rupture and targeted me. I fire a couple of Volleys at him stripping his shield, and he obviously gets the hell out or Ezsur.

My Neuts are on the Myrm, and he's dropping my armour at a steady pace, while my guns are scratching at his armour which is repped up quickly, I'm patient, and eventually my neuting starts to show, he loses point and web, I gain a few clicks and my guns start to track better before he gets his scram/web back on. Then he loses scram/web again, now I'm at 4k, hitting him harder as my own armour dips below 20%. Then Again, I'm at 11k now, at this point I'm just about to trickle into Hull, but this fight is now going to be over quick. The Myrm's hull shatters. And The Tempest holds the field

GF GF

SUPER HAPPY FUN HADOZEKO

Sassy had an unfit Armageddon hull sitting in Egmar. So I offer to scout it back to Ardar in my Tempest. Upon jumping into Hadozeko, I, in a COMPLETLY PRO miss click then warp to the wrong gate. After landing on the Resbroko gate I proceed to sit confused and motionless in space, trying to figure out how I could possibly be getting the Resbroko gate on d-scan from the Klogori gate. After about a minute of being completely baffled by my own mistake, A HULK. I repeat A HULK, uncloaks 15k off me. I stare at it in wonderment on my overview for a few seconds, it doesn't appear to be doing anything....OMG WHAT AM I DOING STARING AT IT, TARGET TARGET. I then proceed to violence it.

So now I have GCC in Hadozeko, WHAT AN AWESOME SCOUT I AM! An intel channel then lights up, seems a Battlecruiser heavy Black Rabbits gang is in Ardar, with a Phobos and some AF's.

A Harpy appears on D-scan, a very obvious rabbits Harpy. Its in a belt near the Ardar Gate. I warp in at range and the rabbits Harpy heads towards me, then my overview fills with Rabbits about 50k off, PERFECT. Fair well little Harpy, your hull looked so happy and unassuming yet JUSTICE MUST PROVAIL. I warp out after the kill as the rest of the rabbits were approaching point range, and a plated battleship isn't the ideal boat for 1 v many nano antics.

FALCON, FALCON, FALCON, FALCON.............INSURANCE.

I'm not even sure I have to say a lot about a solo loss with four Falcons on it really, hardly a battle and needless to say my Tempest is now in VALHALLA.

After today I've decided that battleships are clearly very fun solo boats, and I am now totally looking forward to T2 large AC's.

Vigil of justice

The past few days I have mostly been rolling in a Vigil.

I’m in Ardar, and a chap named d3an0 seemed rather keen on owning one of my corpses, unwilling to pay my REASONABLE special price for one. I then offered to put a corpse of mine in the cargo of my Vigil and 1v1 his Incursus, he agrees, His Incursus is blaster,

Web + scram + afterburner + rails + superior speed of the Vigil = Dead Incursus

Convinced I won because of my web, he asks to fight me in his Catalyst with a NO WEB SPECIAL COMBAT RULE.

The Catalyst doesn’t fair well.

Later on I engage a Kriminal Amarr Crow class boat, after some fancy maneuvers I manage to web and scram him. My rails go to work, his standard missiles are also hurting me rather alot. We hit hull together, COME ON LIL VIGIL COME ON…………

Unfortunately I exploded first. I then docked up, put some more Vigils in the oven, and logged for the night.

A few days later back in a brand spanking new Vigil. An Amarr Kriminal in a Thrasher is spotted in Ardar. Officer Sassy B is in Pursuit in a Vigil Lazor Issue Police Boat, Sassy B engages and the Thrasher RESISTS ARREST. I arrive a little late as Officer Sassy explodes.

Like any maverick detective avenging the death of their plutonic police officer partner in krime prevention. I ATTACK. The Thrasher tries to de-aggress, BUT THE FIRERY OVERHEATED RAILS OF MY VIGIL DEMAND REVENGE. The Thrasher changes his mind and starts to fire back but it is too late by then and JUSTICE IS SERVED.

But at a great price.

I then decide to go partake in a little hobby of mine that I like to call “BLOWING UP BLACK RABBITS ACADAMY KRIMINALS”

On my way to Auner I spot a Rabbits Rifter. I use my awesome undercover skills to sit at a planet in my Vigil disguised as a Civilian waiting to be mugged. Of course I’m the only person in local so he MIGHT know it’s me.

He lands on the planet and I move in for arrest, web, scram, afterburner on, get range…

…wait a sec… he’s not shooting me?

Then my drone control window disappears…

……….NOOOOOO NOT MY POLICE ISSUE HINDERANCE BOAT. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE DEATH OF MY BELOVED SIDEKICK “WARRIOR 2”.

I overheat my guns “NOW YOU DIE KRIMINAL”

He is destroyed in a cascade of Federation Navy Antimatter.

I snag the pod and no bail is offered.

OFFICER DOWN

Over a year ago I bought a Bellicose. I bought it because I could fly Minnie cruisers, I couldn't fly them very well, and I couldn't find a good use for the boat I'd christened “Income Support”, and so for a long time it gathered dust. Later on it took on the roll of go to comedy boat to be refit in strange ways for specific purposes. It spent considerable time with a 1600mm plate and small guns for ganking frigs. I even once gave it a full set of scrams to tackle a multi stabbed smart bombing Typhoon class boat camping a gate in Ardar.

After finally learning T2 medium Auto cannons Income Support took on a new roll, that of AN ELITE BATTLE WARRIOR JUSTICE BOAT. It was rigged and prepped for combat.

It had many skirmishes, and endeared itself to me when it dispatched of a Hurricane boat that attacked me on a station in Sirekur.

Last night Income Support fell in EPIC BATTLE, and possibly the best cruiser 1v1 I've ever been involved in. A honourable fellow named Owen Drakkar offered me a cruiser battle, in fact he actually offered me a battle between his Rupture and my Vagabond. But in 1v1s unless its really insisted I prefer to be in a boat of an equal or underestimated class.

(Don't get me wrong if I'm roaming in a HAC and encounter a cruiser/frig/destroyer or whatever I'd be the first to engage.)

Owen agrees to battle my mighty Bellicose, and goes to get his Rupture.

By the fact he'd offered to fight my Vagabond, I was assuming fall-off Rupture. I was further assured of this when we both warped to 50 at the agreed planet of battle and landed on each other.

I had a range script loaded into my Tracking Disrupter and Barrage in my guns. We quickly zoomed to range of each other. I was faster than him so made sure to stay at the edge of point range, and tried to keep angular high with the TD turned on to reduce incoming damage while the great battle of the drones began.

Owen's bay was full of Warrior 2's, my Bellicose contained a max damage set up of 3x Hammerheads and 2x Hobgoblins. Warriors being faster and better at tracking other drones, meant I had to pull drones in more often, and if we continued as such I would surely lose the drone battle. So I changed tactics, we were rather far apart so every time he sent out a drone after recalling, I flew away from him kiting the drone and turning my guns on it. After a considerable amount of time all his Warriors were down and I had 2x Hobgoblins remaining. However I'd taken several Wrecking shots and I was in deep armour, I used my speed advantage to fly far off to recover shield, Owen burnt out his mwd, I suspect chasing me at this point but I'm not 100% sure. The fight had been very long, and in our private chat Owen had suggested that maybe it was a draw. But the BELLICOSE DEMANDED THAT ONE OF US EXPLODED. Having recovered about 30% shield I turned and went back in. Keeping angular up at about 20k we slugged it out, and it looked like I was just edging it, I needed his shields to fall first as I had no armour. And they did. Then DISASTER the heat from my point burnt out my mwd, this made it considerably harder to keep a high angular and although my TD was reducing damage, his damage on me increased, my shield fell when he was in about half armour, and it became a race he was ahead in, guns blazing hot my hull started to take damage, one of my gun cycles later his hull started to turn red. I hit half hull before him. Then inevitably I exploded with Owen in deep hull.

GF GF OWEN DRAKKAR

and R.I.P Income Support

Needless to say, after such an epic, long, and fun battle, I immediately bought a new Bellicose, and Welfare Check has been added to the Kenssy fleet.

New Shoes?

People say the Stiletto is a gang tackler, in fact they say it's an awesome gang tackler, it's fast, it has four mids, it has an extra long point. Their right, it is a good gang tackler. I love Stilettos I really enjoy flying them.

Thing is...

...I don't have a gang.

I fly solo the majority of the time, other than that its with my homie Sassy B in MIGHTY RIFTERS.

What people don't say about Stilettos is that they are hardcore auto cannon solo brawlers.

Someone in an Intel channel once told me, “a puppy dies every time someone armour tanks a Stiletto”

People tend to favour Taraniseseseseseses, Claws, and Crusaders for solo work.

I dogfight in afterburner, scrambler, PLATED Stilettos.

Stiletto VS Taranis

The Taranis, Its fast, its fun, and it packs a hell of a punch. An Amarr Kriminal in a BLATANT ACT OF TERRORISM attacks my Stiletto while I was out on patrol in Ardar.

I view his boat and clock his blasters. So I load an optimal range script into my TD and fill my AC's with Barrage S. I decide that 2 drones is tankable if I can avoid his blaster dps. His momentum takes him into blaster optimal and he scores some big hits, but I web, and scram him, and fire up the AB raining barrage on him from 6k. I Nos one of his Hobgoblins (I'm not entirely sure if this works but I do it anyway just incase). He explodes, with my Stiletto still in half armour.

TAKE THAT KING OF BRAWLING INTYS.

Stiletto VS Federation Navy Comet.

The Navy Comet, basically a Tougher higher Dps Taranis, with better range, and a bigger drone bay.

A piratical type appears to have stolen one off of a Gallente Police Officer.

UNLICENCED STOLEN VEHICLES MUST BE TURNED OVER TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES OR BE DESTROYED.

I view his boat and spot Neutrons, so I leave in the Barrage and optimal range script from the Taranis fight. Assuming he had null loaded those Neutrons on a comet can be nasty.

First things first though, two flights of t2 light drones are my most pressing concern, Warriors then Hobgoblins. Holding the Comet at 9k to be sure, I go to work on his drones. As I'm doing this, he is managing to sling closer every now and again landing hits on me. At one point I cap out using my repper and my afterburner turns off, landing him a couple of nasty shots before I get it turned on again. The final drone dies with me in deep deep hull, but with them dead, the fight is in theory mine, I manage to claw back some armour with occasional rep cycles, and venture closer to bring the HUGE DPS of my 2 gunned barraging Stiletto fighting at the edge of fall off to bare. Eventually the UNAUTHORIZED VESSLE explodes, The Kriminal however manages to escape in his pod avoiding Total Justice.

Stiletto + Rifter VS Kriminal blob /w Falcon + Blackbird

Every fun boat always dies eventually, and like so many of my boats my Stiletto meets its end with many people on its loss mail including my Arch Nemesis the Falcon and its ugly little brother the Blackbird.

Sassy's Rifter however did make it out scoring a Rifter Kill in the process. \o/

GF GF

Wolf spaceboat makes bad things go away

I logged on today in Ardar to see Snippse in local, Snippse is a lovely fellow who roams around the local area, usually solo in an AF or a Rifter. I undock my rail Ishkur and scan him in a Wolf. So I fly to the nearest planet and wait for him to arrive, he does shortly and HIGH OCTANE BATTLE commences.  Antimatter loaded and having a web I feel confident I can make short work or his 2 mid boat, my drones tear through his armour and it becomes apparent that he’s going down, his structure is disappearing fast, then a curious thing happens.

He warps off …WTF…

Turns out I forgot to turn my point on /o\

Being the optimist I am, I decide that clearly that’s the only silly mistake I’ll probably make today so I hop in a Brutix and go on a roam.  I WAS WRONG, SO WRONG. Not far into my roam I encounter a Hurricane in Sosala, and apparently if you focus on managing your tank, and only turn on two of your guns and not your web then Hurricanes make your Brutix explode.

Great, now I’m in Amarr space with no boat. Checking the market tab I notice a Wolf for sale in nearby highsec, PERFECT. I fly my pod on over and the system seems pretty empty so I buy the Wolf and some stabs and make my way to Auga to fit it up.

I Roam as far as Arnher in Metropolis, when I notice a Crusader and Jaguar on scan, the Jag soon disappears and it looks like the Sader is on a FW plex, I warp to it and the Sader is 100k off he then warps to a planet TWENTY TWO AU AWAY I follow but he isn’t there,  I warp to the plex again and he’s there 20k off, he zooms straight at me and we brawl. The Crusader being no real match for the firepower of my Wolf barely scratches my armour before he Pops. I quickly snag the pod to add another corpse to the corp freezer.

I head back to Ardar to find the Jaguar I’d scanned earlier sitting on my beloved Thukker Mix, he locks me up and I him, but he doesn’t fire. Really not being in the mood for waiting for him to engage I warp to Ardar IV and inform him in local. “Thinking” is his reply. I wait what seems like FOREVER for him to finally gain some courage and he appears on grid. I overheat my Neut in the hope of turning his web off limiting his ability to run, this works beautifully and his web, scram, and afterburner all turn off as he hits half shield as he was also draining his cap by neuting me, with his Jaguar floating almost motionless in space, my Barrage completely shreds his remaining shields, armour and hull.

Satisfied that my Wolf has redeemed my earlier terrible piloting, I dock up and Log

ZOOOOOOM!!!

I love going really really really fast, so after my recent training of the HACs skill it was inevitable that the first ship I hop in would be a Vagabond. For AGGGGGEEESSS people have been all like LS YOU'LL LOVE VAGA'S, YOU SHOULD TRAIN VAGA'S THEY'LL REALLY SUIT YOU, TRAIN VAGAS, YOU'LL LIKE UM. I was unsure to be quite honest, I was unconvinced that the price tag warrents flying them over nano Ruptures and Hurricanes, but after flying one i have to say, OMG ITS AWESOME.

In the few days I flew it, I racked up 23 kills, until getting blobbed by a bunch of criminals.

First Kill Best Kill – I'm zooming round Ontorn, and I spot a Hurricane engaged in BLATANT VIGILANTISM, quickly I swap into a Probe and find out where he is. Sassy B jumps into system in a Jaguar and we warp in to serve swift justice.The pilot then opened a conversation, where we informed him of how he was in GALLANTA POLIC PROTECTED SPACE, and described how VIGILANTISM will not be tolerated, it seems he was unaware of the law, and made a petition to a GM as to why these laws were not readily available to him.

He clearly made no effort to reform from his criminal ways however, and later on that day we caught him LOITORING WITH INTENT TO CAUSE PUBLIC NUISENCE at a gate. Reapet offenders are delt with swiftly.

Lazor Stabber Best Stabber – I was patroling the Taff area when I noticed more criminals murdering Angel Cartel pirates in an astroid belt, I quickly warped in and landed on Caracal and Stabber class internet spaceships. The Caracal bugged out but I managed to point the Stabber and make violence to his LAZOR boat. While I was waiting out GCC the Caracal pilot posted some Russian in local, Google translate informed me that it meant “PIRATE BITCH SCUMBAG YOU SHALL PAY THESE FOR”

this was mean, and deeply hurt my feelings :(

Friendly fire – after teaming up with some outlaw types from an intel channel to kill a Drake and Brutix. And Utilizing the Vagabonds most awesome speed to take out an Eve Uni Taranis from a blob. I found myself roaming close to home, upon jumping into Ardar I was greeted by MINMATAR COMMUNITY SUPPORT OFFICERS, flying two Wolf spaceboats, an UNAUTHORIZED police issue Navy Comet, and a Republic Fleet Firetail. Like most Minnie Militia members they opened fire on me. I managed to get range easily, getting an overheated pulse of my mwd before they could scram me. The frigates then cleverly burned in a straight line towards my Vagabond, the Comet was despatched quickly. And they started to run, but not before I got point on one of the Wolf spaceships, which obviously exploded.

Goin' Underground

Will Lady S get out of the wormhole?

Yes.

It was however for the most part very very dull, I only got one kill and THEY WELL STARTED IT.

I was all bimbling through some wormholes and shiz trying to get an entry for my homie Matsumoto Yoshizu and his Hydra Kru on some carriers running sites. But then I ran into a Russian corp camping a wormhole.

I managed to evade them and get back Into the unknown space I'd jumped into the camp from. But then Matsumoto was all like, DUDE!!! jump through into their wormhole, find us an in, and we'll brawl them. Believing this to be a sound plan cos it means I'd get to shoot at stuff I jump in mwd cloak tricked out the onyx bubble and safed up the Loki.

Upon probing, I discovered that the only sig in the area was the wormhole they were camping. So I figured I'd run the camp again and be on my way. Unfortunately their numbers had increased and several had shipped up from their Pos. I tried to break through a couple of times but was rebuffed. This was somewhat annoying, the third time I tried the Absolution managed to get a lucky bump on me knocking me off the wormhole, their Sader then scrammed me, and Rapier webbed me. RIIIIIGGGHHHTTT, OKAY LETS RUMBLE THEN KRIMINALZ, The Sader was obviously primary as I needed my microwarpdrive, he was in close so tracking would be tough, luckily for me he was not the most pro inty pilot and when I turned my guns on, getting a lucky glancing hit denting his shield, he panicked and flew away in a straight line. It did not work out that well for him. I have no idea why his friend in the Tengu pointed him, but they seemed pretty bad, so likely got confused or sumin'. Thanks to the two HIC's bubbles I was able to make sure the Sader pilot couldn't reship in the Pos so Easily.

Microwarpdrive back on, I head back towards the wormhole and turn my attention to the Rapier. By this time I was struggling to keep my Invuln on, as the Curse that had been neuting me was starting to be noticeable, also a Sleipner had got involved, so I decide to bounce out back into their Wormhole and safe up.

Thinking that actually their not so scary now, I decide that I can probably go back for some more kills once my shields recharge. I think better of this plan when I see not only a Falcon join them, but also a Rook, and a FREAKIN SCORP!!!

ALL FOR ME!!!!

oh and did I mention this was a class 5 Magnetar. Which if you don't know, or can't be bothered to click the link means ecm gets an EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT strength bonus. Deciding the ewar is a tad excessive for my liking I make a cup of tea and start hassling PERSEPHONE ASTRID in the Bastards ransom channel to make me a pink cake and chocolate Rifters.

Will PERSEPHONE ASTRID bake me an awesome pink cake with chocolate swirly bits on?

No :(

...about 3 or 4 hours later I'm still camped in, then the wormhole disappears, they drop probes to find the next one, but I'm on it far quicker and I get out while their still fiddling a load of sisters core scanner probes around the sig. After jumping through several empty wormholes I get back into empire and make my way back to Ardar.

What will happen to Ardar without half of Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru there to fight bad and wrong and stuff?

Ardar was fine, however I cut through Ebolfer 2 jumps away on my way back to find swarms of HOSTILE AMARR KRIMINAL INVADERS, and about 50 faction warfare mission sites. I consider hopping into my Comet, but its late, and unlike Amarr Kriminals, JUSTICE NEEDS TO SLEEP.