Tuesday, 19 April 2011

ALARMING NEWS

Dear New Edan

I BRING YOU SAD NEWS TODAY

It seems the popular institution EVE UNIVERSITY, that is WELL KNOWN AND RESPECTED has BECOME OFFICALLY PIRATS

Earlier today WHILE ON PATROL FOR JUSTIC a group of EVE UNIVERSITY PIRATS sat camping a lowsec gate LIKE THE MOST LOWLY OF PIRATS. Attempted to VANDALIZ MY VESSAL taking GLOBAL KRIMINAL COOLDOWN. They, like pirat amateurs, since they are new to such ways, took casualties to gate fire alone, as I jumped out and WARPED TO FREEDOM

Immediately I sent a letter to EVE UNIVERSITY CEO to warn him of PIRATING WITHIN HIS UPSTANDING INSTITUTION


From: Lady Shaniqua

Sent: 2011.04.20 00:38

To: Kelduum Revaan,

Greetings Kelduum

My name is OFFICA LADY SHANIQUA, of ELIT ANTI PIRAT GROUP Genos Occidere. A proud member of STRONG JUSTIC ALICE HYDRA RELOADED

I Am afraid i am writing to you with GRAVE NEWS INDEED, concerning members of your university

Today i was quite frankly SHOCKED and APPAULLED, witnessing 9 of your pupils BREAK THE LAW and take GLOBAL KRIMINAL COOLDOWN on a low sec gate. I witnessed this first hand as it was myself they attempted to pirate. LUCKILY my many years fighting krime and the PIRAT MENACE gave me the CUNNING AND GUILE to evade the amatuar pirates.

I am writing you this mail, as I realize as a RENOWNED ANTI-PIRAT BASTION OF JUSTICE the university should not tolerate this behaviour.

THE LAST THING THIS HIVE OF VILLANY that is metropolis low sec needs IS MORE BUDDING KRIMINALZ.

Below are listed your wayward studants

Storos Sahara Sena Ran Kildar Qri Orlais Takedu Oda triangleSLO Kozilla DoubleSun Power Dante Tempest-Vain

I HOPE YOU WILL SEE FIT TO GUIDE THESE CONFUSED YOUFFS BACK ON TO THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

For now i shall turn a blind eye, but if they are caught again pirating in ANTI PIRAT PROTECTED SPACE. Then THE HARSHEST PENALTIES WILL BE SORT AGAINST OUTLAWZ.

REGARDS

LS


I was soon convoed by EVE UNIVERSITY REPRESENTATIVE Joanna Davaham who alarmingly me informed me of eve uni's policy to shoot non flashy justic bringers on gates in low sec. Joanna then closed conversation REFUSING TO HEAR THE ARGUMENTS FOR NOT TAKING THE WAYS OF THE KRIMINAL.

I AM DISAPOINT EVE UNI AND I HOPE YOU SEE THE ERROR IN TURNING DOWN THE PATH OF KRIME TO ONCE AGAIN TEACH THE MEANING OF RIGHTEOUSNESS TO NEW EDANS YOUFF

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26 comments:

  1. Anonymous20 April 2011 at 00:59

    EVE-U is NRDS in low sec and NBSI in null.
    HYDRA RELOADED is in this list so you are probably RED to them: http://standings.eveuniversity.org

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sobczynski20 April 2011 at 01:22

    I am APPAULLED too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous20 April 2011 at 04:18

    Well first, i have to say thats the most spelling mistakes i have seen in a post. Did you finish 6th grade English? Secondly, you should check out a corporation or whoever is in the system before you go around and show up on grid with them. It also helps if the corporation that killed you (e-uni) also publicizes their standings toward others, so all in all it is your fault. But i have to say your message to the Uni's CEO is probably going to get on one of their fail Q_Q threads.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Laktos20 April 2011 at 04:46

    Not sure if above poster is troll...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous20 April 2011 at 05:37

    I would guess its just a massive fail, which will be disguised as trolling.
    Entertaining post by shaniqua though

    ReplyDelete
  6. Da Masta Cheef20 April 2011 at 06:42

    Indeed, the intentional typos add greatly to the entertainment of this blog!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tib20 April 2011 at 08:00

    Love the blog. Keep em comin.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sard Caid20 April 2011 at 08:34

    The only honourful response to this piracy is stabbed smartbomb ECM burst scorpion!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mara Abraham20 April 2011 at 08:35

    When I was an Eve Uni member, it was frowned upon when members went GCC. What I do know given the IFW/BSP war against Eve University is that if Eve Uni sets a person or corp to -10, they are ok with the GCC.

    Since you are a true Justice Bringer (sorry for my spelling), I would ask what is required to remove any negative standings they have towards you.

    LS, keep up the blog, and keep fighting for Justice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kelduum20 April 2011 at 14:47

    Greetingses LADY SHANIQUA

    I am SADDEND AND DISMAD at you being SHOOTED by EVE UNIVERSITY studonts, however youre ESTEEMED ALLIANZ is NEGTIVE FIV cos they DID SHOOT us befur.

    HOUR MEMBUZ are aloud to VIOLANSE pepuls who are in grups who has shoted us, BUT we wuld be willing to SET the GREAT AND POWERFULZ LADY SHANIQUA with a PERSUNOL BLU, or set the SRONG AND AWESUM HYDRA ALLIANZE bule or NUTROL.

    I hav however send a MAIL OF GRATE IMPORTUNCE to the hole corpurayshun, telling them to GO PLAY IN NULLSECS INSTED if they want to violenze pepuls.

    TANKYOUZ for bringing this to my ATTENSHUN.

    --
    Kelduum REVAAN
    CHEEF EGSECUTIVE OFFCIFER
    EVE UNIVERCITY

    ReplyDelete
  11. FNG20 April 2011 at 17:06

    This post was pure win. Then the Anon commenters who didn't get it made it better. Then Kelduum's post in which he did get it made it best. LS continues to win the internet.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous21 April 2011 at 01:56

    +1 INTERNETZ for this BLOOG

    ReplyDelete
  13. Markius TheShed21 April 2011 at 03:19

    Thnx for the warning LS I will now be extra careful when these Kriminalz bring there blob to frerstorn.

    o7

    ReplyDelete
  14. Orson21 April 2011 at 06:35

    Watch out for their evil ECM blob.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous21 April 2011 at 08:11

    poor eve uni they dont now what they did

    ReplyDelete
  16. Theo d'or21 April 2011 at 15:45

    Lady S' blog makes me believe in humanity again! \0/

    P.S. JUSTIC ALICE made me spill my tea on my keyboard again.

    P.P.S. I do hope we're on their red list.

    P.P.P.S. Lady S 4 PREZ!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Laedy22 April 2011 at 00:47

    This is my friends, AN OUTRAGE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Snippse22 April 2011 at 06:02

    what? blackbirds can tank sentries?

    ReplyDelete
  19. A Frost22 April 2011 at 14:02

    The most shocking thing is the fact that LS 0nly has -3.0 sec status

    ReplyDelete
  20. Miura Bull24 April 2011 at 07:24

    How did I miss this? Awesome. That anonymous post 3rd down made my day, unless, as mentioned before it is an elaborate troll.

    MOAR JUSTIC PLEASE.

    MB.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Szilardis25 April 2011 at 07:45

    This was awesome, I snorted out half my water bottle in the middle of class laughing. Kelduum's comment was FTW.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Naoru Kozan26 April 2011 at 02:11

    Valeint polic offcer LADY SHANIQUA haz spread the mesagge of the Evil EvE UNIVARSITY pirat blob SChool! (spammed in local for the blob)

    Eve universuty recently violenced my fleetmates hurrican nano-boat and attempted to ransum his pod! Is thare no depths they will not sink to???!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. De'Vadder26 April 2011 at 12:45

    When i was part of the proud Minmatar Millitia we were often hunted by them. Some corps probably shot them one day and thus almost all our fleets ended red to them.
    I didnt even know they were not NBSI ^^

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  24. Tom4 May 2011 at 17:35

    bag full of win

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous8 May 2011 at 10:23

    Milady, as always you rule. I'm very sorry that I've not read you as often as I should be. Will send isk donation to compensate for witnessing the utter horror of this dastardly act of violence. Maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ninevite17 July 2011 at 14:13

    I was the FC of this fleet and it's still my proudest EVE moment

    ReplyDelete

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