Re-EDUKATION

Of recent I have mainly been BATTALING THE KRIMINAL MENACE THAT IS EVE UNIVERSITY. A small group of Ivy League kriminals have set themselves up in my neighbouring system of Hadozeko. They are a lot more fun to engage than normal eve uni gangs, they still drop ecm boats and Recons on a solo Rupture but less than your average eve uni gang, Also they still have the annoyingly self righteous BUT WE HAVE LOW SP, OUR PILOTS FLY RECONS AND HACS AND R OLDER TOONS THAN YOU BUT WE HAVE LOW SP!!!!!!! SO FALCON, RAPIER, 3 BCS AND SOME FRIGS V YOUR CANE IS GF GF COS WE HAVE LOW SP GF GF

We have had some great fights though with many loses and kills on both sides. In order to counter the ewar issue I have on occasion teamed up with other JUSTIC WARRIORZ who I've been rather enjoying flying with of recent.

MISTER KINGWOOD

I encounted mister Kingwood in a Hadozeko belt as I was swatting off a very ambitious Malediction. We agreed to a Cyclone 1v1 and I headed to Ardar to grab my Cyc, while he safed up.

Neither of us had crystals, and were both fielding damage drones and fairly standard fits. I landed at 0 on Kingwood, HAM's and AC's fired out from our boats, the battle was brutal, but my third gyro made the difference and Mister Kingwood's Cyclone was decommissioned. After chatting a bit, I deduced that Mister Kingwood WAS ALSO LOCKED IN AN EPIC JUSTIC BATTAL WITH THE KRIMINALZ IN IVY LEAGUE, as they had INVADED his beloved home of Hadozeko. So together we decided to FIGHT THE ENIMIE IN A SPECIAL JUSTIC SQUAD, Kingwood is a great pilot, but the most important thing I've learnt is that if he says, LS TACKLE THAT CURSE and I'm in an expensive cruiser THEN I SHOULD IGNORE HIM AND WARP OFF.

BATTAL ROBOT OFFICAH LEELOO MALAQUIN

Some may know of Leeloo from his Rifter video, if you don't then you should watch it cos its pretty stylish. Incidentally I'm in it AS THE ONLY RIFTER HE SHOOTS AT THAT DOESNT EXPLODE \o/ though sadly he escapes from me. :(

I've come across Leeloo many times in the past year partially on account of him being in the same corp as my homie Kimura Masahiko. But recently I've teamed up with him to roam AND HUNT DOWN KRIMINALS *, including but not limited to EVE UNIVERSITY. Leeloo is possibly the pilot I've flown with THAT IS MOST LIKE ROBOCOP, his piloting is very precise, his tactics efficient, he also seems to always remain rather calm. CLEARLY SOME SORT OF ROBOTIC OFFICAH, and thankfully for us HE IS ON THE SIDE OF JUSTIC.

GF GF EVE UNIVERSITY

o7o7o7o7o7o7o7 MISTER KINGWOOD AND OFFICAH LEELOO MALAQUIN

*(that guy was with kriminal draek boats but they refused to explode while he kept returning)

A Rare Sight

Is that?.....

no, it can't be......

IT IS!!!

A SOLO EVE UNI BATTLECRUISER WTF!!!

The brave blobless eve uni Harbinger with none of his kriminal fold nearby engaged my Hurricane battleboat of the Ardar gate in Hadozeko, I opened fire a little warily, half expecting a cyno to light, spewing forth a million 10day old blackbirds. It didn't, Bc one on one was a go. \o/

As my RF Fusion starts hitting I soon realise that this Harbinger has a shield tank. Though I'm not contemplating the dent of red on his shields long before 5 Vespa EC-600s appear and I promptly get jammed. WELL THAT WAS NOT ENTIRELY UNEXPECTED.

I take this opportunity to switch out to RF EMP, and burn away from the Harb so he has to switch out to Scorch, which although hurty would be less hurty than faction Multifrequency.

Now to wait out the jams.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

WOOOO \o/ I finally get a lock as my buffer cane hits half armour, I make short work of the Vespas with my 220mm's as I'm burning away from them making them easy to track. Vespas down I swing round and get in a tight Orbit of the Harbinger.

I went for a tight orbit as him being a shield tanked Harbinger meant that he wasn't going to have a cap booster to support his very cap hungry lazors, and as a double medium neut cane with most of their armour buffer gone, it was in my best interests to make myself as hard to track as possible WHILE I OVERHEAT MY NEUTS AND DESTROY THE KRIMINALZ OFFENSIVE CAPABILITIES \o/

I'm in low armour by the time his lazors switch off, and with his lazors drained of cap, and no damage drones, I'm highly confident that I won't be taking anymore damage, so I proceed to move out from my close orbit...

AND BRAWL THE KRIMINAL DOWN \o/

GF GF

And props to stigirl for engaging on an even footing despite their corp ticker.

o7o7o7

Official Gallanta police boats

Official Gallanta boats have been the flavour for me the past few days, namely the Myrm and the Comet. Gunna cut straight to the battle reports in this instalment

MYRM, VEGNANCE VS BADDIES

I was roaming around the Taff, Gurkala, Ualkin area in my Myrm, when I noticed on scan a Dominix and Megathron ENGAGING IN ILLEGAL VIGILANTI ACTIVITIES. So I hopped into a probe to discover their location and called out for tackle backup from officer Sassy B, who responded in a Vegnance class space boat. WE WARPED IN TO DISPENCE JUSTIC and caught the Dominix on the warp in. We then noticed we were being probed and decided to check out the incoming gank squad, as we were deep in Kriminal territory and the Domi pilot had many ruffian friends. I warped off and Sassy moved from the warp in when a tackle Vexor piloted by the Domi pilot arrived. Sassy then observed a Drake land as I was warping the myrm back in. The Vexor had warped off and I landed on top of the Drake and began to go to work on his shields. Then the Vexor landed and pointed and webbed me, Sassy burned in to put point on the Vexor, and soon a Megathron landed and started shooting at me as well. At this point I decide to pop some exile, and I started to move into a close orbit of the Megathron. The Drake monster then explodes, and we primary the Vexor as it seemed to be the only boat with tackle. The cruiser soon succumbed to our combined damages. Blipping d-scan we notice a Macharial as we were grinding down the Megathron, and made the decision that if it landed we should bail. Then predictably when the Mega was in Low Armour the Mach landed 20k off :( so we warp out. I would say GF GF but I WON'T, AS THE KRIMINALS SENT US A MEAN EVE MAIL AND SASSY AND I ARE SENSITIVE OFFICAHS WAT LIKE PONIES AND RAINBOWS.

MYRM VS DRAEK, DRAEK, & WOLF SPACEBOAT

I was patrolling Ardar as per usual when I was greeted by d-scan showing a Red Alliance Drake sitting in top belt. Well this is very clearly bait so I hopped into my trusty Myrm and watched local and the scanner for a bit, It looked like his gang was p.small Drake Drake Wolf. Shortly after the bait left system one Drake and Wolf were sat on the Frer gate so I warped to it and as expected they jumped through with me and I let them tackle. I moved into orbit of the Drake, and put web scram Warriors on the Wolf. I soon noticed the Wolf Trying to run......IN A STRAIGHT LINE AWAY FROM ME VERY SLOWLY \o/ so I naturally turned my AC's onto him and he kindly blew up.

I brought in the Warriors, and released the Hammerheads ready for the slow grind that is breaking the tank of a Drake, By now the 2^nd Drake had landed and I was under the fire of many many navy scourge missiles. At this point I should mention that after seeing the Drakes I'd swapped a kinetic hardener onto my Myrm :P

I played the recall and relaunch drones game for some time, managing to keep all my Hammers alive, I also was trying to conserve cap boosters and rep only the amount needed to not go into hull.

Briefly a MINMATAR COMMUNITY SUPPORT OFFICAH in a Claw opened fire on me, but left when I flashed the Gallanta police badge, and accused him of being AN AMARR SPY.

Time passed...

...FINALLY the first Drakes shield broke peak recharge, The Kriminal then tried to deagress BUT THIS OFFICAH IS NOT SHOOTING ALL THAT AMMO FOR NOTHING, a good solid bump sent his boat hurtling away from the gate, leaving him no choice but to explode. Unfortunately on seeing his friend hit hull the 2^nd Drake warped out.

GF GF

POLIC COMET VS PIRAT DRAMIEL

The official police frigate VS the renowned Pirate vessel THE ULTIMATE FRIGAT BATTAL FOR JUSTIC. Sassy and I had been chasing a Crow about, when Sass noticed a Dramiel on scan. I undocked my Comet and warped to a belt at zero, where I dispensed justic to the angel pirate rats. Sass was at range from the belt as he was hoping a Crow might land and burn at his Vigil.

Eventually the Dramiel landed and BATTAL BEGAN. Sassy's Vigil was to far off to make it into the fight so it was a 1v1 brawl, Null S loaded and afterburner heated I moved in and landed my web and scram, WOOO HE ISNT WEBBING ME HE'S DUAL PROP \o/

This is very important for fighting a dram in a blaster Comet, because you really want to control range and an ab/web Dramiel will control range on any boat short of a Daredevil or Cruor. The fight was brutal, I hit hull as he hit armour, my repper burning hot, clawing armour back as my hull slowly bled, It was too close to call, and both of us were in it till someone exploded. THEN BOOM target lost

Did I explode???

Did he explode???

HE EXPLODED, YAY \o/

My Comet looted the field, very much on fire with just 9% Hull remaining

GF GF

BATTALING THE PIRAT

September 1^st and the way I like to start any new month is BATTALING THE PIRAT MENACE. I logged on in Police headquarters Thukker Mix, in Ardar. And surprise surprise LOCAL IS FULL OF PIRATS. The pirates were Back to Yarrr flavour pirates, generally good for a fight and nearly always in numbers. Seeing that there were a few in local I undock the justice Tempest and blip the dscan. CYCLON, HURRIKAN, DOMIX, hmm okay TO THE PLANET. I warp in at range from a safe and am soon joined by a cane who burns towards me, I align let him catch up a bit and slam on the mwd as his friends get closer on my scanner. I start cycling the neuts and 800mm's on the cane, his shield is stripped fast, and I begin to go to work on his crunchy Armour centre, unfortunately he turns tail sooner than I was expecting and manages to get out of point range and warp. New Local enters, Back to Yarrr, blip the scanner DRAEK BOAT. Okay manageable, the Cyclone is now overheating mwd at me and closing fast, I lock him up but hold fire until he's well in the danger zone of my turrets, as I really don't wanna miss this kill as well as the cane. Cyclone at 11k GO GO POLIC AUTOCANNONZ. Like the cane he starts to bug out, however this time I'm more ready I flip my pest around heat mwd and Brawl the Pirat man down. During all this the Domi had warped off and back in on the Cyc, as the Cyc exploded I started to move away from the Domi, but not before having my cap drained to nothing, meaning a lot of spamming of my cap boosters. Safely out of heavy neut range now, and the DRAEK BOAT is burning at me fast, I click to top up the pitiful amount of phased plasma in my guns. Ummm oh dear someone's Police boat isn't well stocked for ammo, all I have is Barrage, not really ideal but will have to do, I Load it up and fire some long range rounds at the injured cane 57k off while I await the MIGHTY DRAEK BOAT. Drake hits about 18k and I decided to check my cargo to assess the cap booster situation because I'm gunna need to do some heavy neuting soon on this clearly scram fit DRAEK BOAT. No boosters left dammit, stupid neuty domi, The combination of cap being low, having no boosters left, and having barrage loaded for a DRAEK, brings me to the conclusion that I should bail, The Draek kindly webs me into warp.

Not to long later I hear of KRIMINAL MASTARMIND PERSEPHONE ASTRID, who incidentally IS YET TO MAKE ME A CAKE. And another Bastard a Mister RoninData roaming close by. I know RoninData is in a Taranis but when I flew about to do some reconnaissance in the pest I didn't clock Astrids boat, nevermind i'll go ship to fight the ranis, I hop into A MIGHTY JUSTIC VIGIL LAW BOAT, and go a chasing. Astrids in a Crow WACK, although I reckon I can take a Crow down in my vigil it's a dicey fight so really I need to go for the ranis. I give chase. Astrid orbits me at a gate at 100 for a while with the ranis clearly close by on Dscan, DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID PERSEPHONE ASTRID I AM NOT ROLLING OFF THE GATE WITH THE RANIS SO CLOSE AT LEAST SEND HIM TO A FURTHER SAFE IF YOU WANT TO TRY THAT TRAP.

Astrid then warps off to the Klogori gate, the ranis I assume does as well. I give chase and being pirates in two interceptors they decide to try and keep moving ahead of me instead of making battal. THEN THEY ARE UNDONE BY THEIR NATURAL DESIRE TO PICK ON THE WEAK. I jump into Orfrold after them, I hold cloak, as I see a potential pve cane on scan, easy and tempting prey for two pirate intys, so I rightly assume they are holding cloak looking to see where he is. Astrid then warps in the canes direction PERFECT, I know full well Astrid won't engage if RoninData had warped for tackle, as shes a pew for profit kinda gal, but from what I know of Mr Ronindata from hearing other Bastards talk of him, is that he's the type who's well up for a GF GF. I uncloak dcu on preheat ab, sure enough the brave Mr RoninData uncloaks and goes for me. \o/

I go to work on the Ranis, Astrid arrives when he's in half hull and starts slamming missiles into my vigil from outside of point range. The Taranis explodes in flames of Justice just as Astrid gets into point range. I then obviously being in deep hull at this point go down. After this I realise I had forgotten a damage rig :( this would of saved my Vigil cos really popping the ranis one volley earlier would of let me get out.

Soon after when PERSPHONE ASTRID had logged off WITHOUT GIVING ME ANY CAKE. Mr RoninData and I agree to a good ol' fashioned Rifter 1v1. I assume he's gunna be Cookie cutter plate, repper, ac's, ab, full tackle, and I decide to grab an Arty Rifter from my hanger, a fit that I totally stole, and slightly modified from a very talented local solo warrior named Snippse. I hold range throughout the fight and Mr RoninData satisfyingly explodes.

GF GF

Nothing to see here

One of the advantages of being a MAVERICK OFFICAH is that we don't have to live by THE BOOK and can use unsanctioned methods to ENFORC JUSTIC, methods like utilizing the boats of kriminals against them.

This officer, a while back, came into the possession of two Cynabal class space boat vessels of KRIME LORDS THE ANGAL KARATL. Flying them feels somewhat like cheating, its like a Vagabond with the agility of a Taranis which is an intensely MIGHTY combination. I recently bust some small kriminal gangs in them, even though 1v3 victories totally don't count as awesome in a Cynabal, I SHALL STILL LOG THE BATTALS INTO POLIC RECORDS.

JUVENILE DELINQUENT OFFICAH

I hadn't been logged on long, and had just undocked to group up drones and run routine safety checks on my 2^nd more maverick fit Cynabal. When on scan I spot A GROUP OF YOUFFS, flying WITHOUT LICENCES while UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES, the gang then proceeded to LOITER at a planet, unfortunately I arrived on the scene as the last youff was leaving. I then decided to patrol the top belt, soon enough a Punisher lands 20k from me and points me with a disruptor, he's followed shortly by a Thrasher. My 425s at 20k make very quick work of the Punisher. I then switch to the Thrasher as a Harpy lands on me at 0. I Finish the Thrasher. And hit my MWD as the Harpy gets scram and web on me, the momentum of the mwd burst before the scram hit takes me to 10k meaning that its soon all over for the Harpy.

THE AMARR KRIMINAL MENACE

A few days later I decide to undock my more standard fit Cynabal, Very quickly I notice that AMARR KRIMINALS are assaulting a local Minmatar Outpost. I scan Ishkur, Wolf, Kestrel and Thorax class space boats, I warp without thinking and land on the acceleration gate. OH NOES their not in the plex IT TWAS A CUNNING RUSE, their all on the acceleration gate. The Ishkur and Wolf scram me, I lock all the ships up turn my neut on the Ishkur and overheat my Afterburner. No web on me and me with a heated afterburner being faster than the two sluggish Assault frigs means that The Ishkur is soon reduced to wreckage. Closely followed my his accomplice in the Wolf. The other kriminals panic and try to run, The Kestrel gets out but I manage to grab point on the Thorax. Needless to say his attempt at RESISTING ARREST was foiled.

As I was gathering evidence from the battle, I became SHOCKED AND APPALLED when a KRIMINAL SPY UNCLOAKED. I Lock up the offending Cheetah and with the aid of my 425s PREPARED HIS BOATS FOR KRIME SCENE EVIDENCE PROCESSING.

GF GF

Blog Banter: SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

Welcome to the twentieth installment of the EVE Blog Banter, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to crazykinux@gmail.com. Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

With the recent completion of the 3rd installment of the Hulkageddon last month,

@CyberinEVE , author of Hands Off, My Loots!, asks: "Griefing is a very big part of EVE. Ninja Salvaging, Suicide Ganking, Trolling, and Scamming are all a very large part of the game. What do you think about all these things? You can talk about one, or all...but just let us know your overall opinion on Griefing, and any recommendations you may have to change it if you think it's needed."

So since this blog banter is about griefing, then I should clearly take the time to highlight the common problem of SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

OFFICAHS ARE HERE FOR UR PROTECTION

The Gallanta space police force operate under a STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT, but we DO NOT have to tolerate SPACE BOAT or VERBAL ABUSE from kriminalz and disruptive citizens. Such actions may result in a FIXED PENALTY NOTICE or in some extreme cases THE USE OF SPACE BOATS TO FORCEFULLY ADMINISTER JUSTICE.

UNGRATEFUL CITIZANZ

A common form of abuse towards Gallanta Police Officers comes from VIGILANTES UNDER ARREST. Many vigilantes when caught, DENY KRIMINAL ACTIVITY, they probably believe this, as the twisted mind of a kriminal is a complex thing, so to them engaging in acts of MURDER towards Angel, Sansha, Serpentis, Gurista and Blood Raider “Pirates” WITHOUT TRIAL is acceptable 'because they are kriminals' it seems they don't realise that EVIDENCE IS NEEDED and kriminals must be dealt with THROUGH OFFICAL CHANNELS. More importantly they fail to realize it is also for THEIR OWN PROTECTION members of the public are not properly trained, and therefore are putting the lives of themselves in danger while seeking acts of revenge upon VIOLENT KRIME LORDS. Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru have received MANY ABUSIVE LETTERS and had to put up with ENRAGED VIGILANTES shouting harassment at us in both local and private channels. Yet our dedication to justice must prevail and despite this ATTEMPTED GRIEFING we know that it is our duty to continue.

GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS

Many kriminals take drastic measures to grief Gallanta police by trying to stop us in our pursuit of justice using large overkill gangs with KRIMINAL ISSUE FALCONS, BLACKBIRDS, GRIFFINS AND HORNET EC-300's. Not allowing me to violence your boat through these means is a GROSE MISUSE OF GAME MECHANICS TO HINDER THE GAMEPLAY ENJOYMENT OF ME. Many learn this in the CORRUPT EDUCATION SYSTEM implemented through one of Eve's biggest kriminal institutions EVE UNIVERSITY, where innocent noobs are taken and taught how to become mindless swarming kriminal henchmen. And many learn this from the perpetuated myth that putting your INTERNET SPACESHIP at risk is bad because eve isn't an internet spaceship game where one might enjoy the excitement of space boat violence but V. SRS. BUISNESS WHERE IF ANYTHING SHOOTS AT YOU IT IS A CATASTROPHE.

DEALING WITH GRIEFING

Due to a DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT with previous diplomat SASSY B, involving a S3verance diplomat and the terms “fat”, “ugly”, and “slag”. The KFCKICC, headed up by Djuba was set up in order to limit harassment both from and towards officers. Below is linked Djuba's Bio which explains the KFCKICC's roll

“Hello, my name is Djuba and I am the Head of the Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru Independent Complaints Commission (KFCKICC)

The KFCKICC's job is to make sure that complaints against the Kru are dealt with effectively.

It helps the Kru learn lessons and improve the way they serve the community.

The KFCKICC is independent, making its decisions entirely independently of the Kru, the Minmatar Republic and the Gallente Federation.

Complaints about the overall policies and procedures of the Kru rather than the behaviour or conduct of a member do not fall within the remit of the KFCKICC. These should be directed to Chief Executive Officer Tony Ockabasi.”

In terms of dealing with “GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS” clearly the answer is to violence peoples boats till they realise they are internet pixels ESPECIALLY VIOLENCE THE ECM ONES.

EVIDENCE COLLECTION

Ardar was pretty empty, not long ago i'd lost a Tempest to a battlecruiser gang, and the wreck was 60k off the Hadozeko gate. So being the enterprising young officer that I am I hop into my VIGIL BOAT OF JUSTICE ENFORCEMENT AND EVIDENCE RECOVERY, to go and salvage my wreck. I notice in an intel channel that “The Entity” a terribad alliance who like to bait and blob are a few jumps out in 3 Hurricanes, I don't pay much attention to it though as there is evidence to be recovered.

I land on the gate and head out to the wreck, lock it up and proceed to salvage. Then local jumps up and the gate flashes. An Entity Rifter and Stiletto uncloak and start burning towards me with MWD's.

THIS IS A KRIME SCENE AND OFFBOUNDS TO MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC.

I lock up the Rifter as he screeches into scrambler range, I move to 7k from him and turn on my rails making sure to stay within 5k of the Tempest wreck to continue salvaging.

SALVAGE SUCCESSFUL \o/

Then the interfering Rifter explodes, and I turn my attention to the Stiletto that is pointing me from 20k, and the three Hurricane class boats steaming towards me. I burn away from the Hurricanes gaining some distance, then turn a harsh 180 degrees, heat my afterburner and scramble the Stiletto.

The intercepter pilot is soon, much like his Rifter friend in a POD!

His explosion however coincided with a Hurricane getting into long point range, with my Vigil in deep structure and precious evidence in my cargo hold it seems attempting arrest of the Hurricanes would be fool hardy, so I burn out of point range and warp with 28% Hull.

I dock up in Thukker mix to process the evidence.

GF GF