Sunday 9 February 2014

Back To The Space Academy


HALLO

Some of you may remember me for solving space krime, and MAKING SPAC BATTAL AT PIRATS.


WELL


I heard many a sad story recently of BAD PIRAT WARLORDS returning to the once safe space of Metropolis. Harassing INNOCENT CITIZANS stealing their Quafe and calling them MEAN WORDS IN SPAC CHAT!


and so, out of retirement GALLENTA POLIC LADY SHANQUA must come!


Upon logging on I was donated 250 million isk by CONCERNED CITIZAN Teronova!


THIS WILL HELP.


I jumped to an implant-less clone in syndicate boarded my Cyclone...


...then jumped out of my Cyclone as it's fitted turrets wouldn't turn on, AS APPARANLY CYCLON WARBOAT FORGOT HOW TO MAKE SHOOT!


so I podded myself to Metropolis, entered a Rifter war ship undocked


AND GOT BLOWN UP BY AN ATRON!


okay seems I need to re hone some old skills and learn all the new stuff I'd missed.


Sooooo


Later in the evening I decided to hop into another one of my Rifter battle boats and clean up the space lanes.

It wasn't long until I noticed a pirate committing A SEVERE PARKING VIOLATION in Hadozeko 
It was a TALWA VESSAL and instantly I thought WAT IZ TALWA!

I warped in, and was confronted by a flashy red pirate man flying what was clearly a boat put together in an ILLEGAL PIRAT CHOPSHOP out of old filing cabinets and Breacher parts. Then as a missile crashed against my hull I deduced that TALWA IZ MISSAL BOAT. so I heated up my afterburner and PROCEEDED TO COMMIT VIOLENCE. The fight started with the traditional ritual of pointing each other. I settled into an orbit, applied my nos, and unleashed the righteous justice of PHASED PLASMA. My shield broke quickly, though given I had an armour tank this was expected, I engaged my repper, the fight began to feel pretty standard, although my repper couldn't hold indefinitely, It became clear to me that JUSTIC WOULD PRVAIL and as the pirate man KEVIN EMOTO reached peak recharge I overheated my 150mm's and broke through to his surprisingly meaty hull. 


As the pirate man AXEPLODED GLORIOUSLY!


I knew that my ongoing quest for space justice had resumed.


GF GF


12 comments:

  1. I missed your blog so much. Glad you're back!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Damn, Shaniqua, do you realize how much your blog posts have been missed? I'm laughing out loud in my office at your writings.
    Welcome back to EVE and I hope your stay is a very long one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Welcome back dear SHANNY.
    If you need a sugar daddy let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtcb4E0Ado0

    ReplyDelete
  6. Welcome back, love the posts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I AM NOT THE NOOB I ONCE WAS, THIS TIME IT IS ME WHO WILL VIOLENCE YOUR BOAT HSHSHAAAHAHHAHAAH

    ReplyDelete
  8. pretty much the only eve blog i read. Welcome back, i hope to see u in honrabl spac combat soon™

    ReplyDelete