Sunday 22 August 2010

Blog Banter: SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

Welcome to the twentieth installment of the EVE Blog Banter, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to crazykinux@gmail.com. Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

With the recent completion of the 3rd installment of the Hulkageddon last month,

@CyberinEVE , author of Hands Off, My Loots!, asks: "Griefing is a very big part of EVE. Ninja Salvaging, Suicide Ganking, Trolling, and Scamming are all a very large part of the game. What do you think about all these things? You can talk about one, or all...but just let us know your overall opinion on Griefing, and any recommendations you may have to change it if you think it's needed."


So since this blog banter is about griefing, then I should clearly take the time to highlight the common problem of SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.


OFFICAHS ARE HERE FOR UR PROTECTION


The Gallanta space police force operate under a STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT, but we DO NOT have to tolerate SPACE BOAT or VERBAL ABUSE from kriminalz and disruptive citizens. Such actions may result in a FIXED PENALTY NOTICE or in some extreme cases THE USE OF SPACE BOATS TO FORCEFULLY ADMINISTER JUSTICE.


UNGRATEFUL CITIZANZ


A common form of abuse towards Gallanta Police Officers comes from VIGILANTES UNDER ARREST. Many vigilantes when caught, DENY KRIMINAL ACTIVITY, they probably believe this, as the twisted mind of a kriminal is a complex thing, so to them engaging in acts of MURDER towards Angel, Sansha, Serpentis, Gurista and Blood Raider “Pirates” WITHOUT TRIAL is acceptable 'because they are kriminals' it seems they don't realise that EVIDENCE IS NEEDED and kriminals must be dealt with THROUGH OFFICAL CHANNELS. More importantly they fail to realize it is also for THEIR OWN PROTECTION members of the public are not properly trained, and therefore are putting the lives of themselves in danger while seeking acts of revenge upon VIOLENT KRIME LORDS. Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru have received MANY ABUSIVE LETTERS and had to put up with ENRAGED VIGILANTES shouting harassment at us in both local and private channels. Yet our dedication to justice must prevail and despite this ATTEMPTED GRIEFING we know that it is our duty to continue.


GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS


Many kriminals take drastic measures to grief Gallanta police by trying to stop us in our pursuit of justice using large overkill gangs with KRIMINAL ISSUE FALCONS, BLACKBIRDS, GRIFFINS AND HORNET EC-300's. Not allowing me to violence your boat through these means is a GROSE MISUSE OF GAME MECHANICS TO HINDER THE GAMEPLAY ENJOYMENT OF ME. Many learn this in the CORRUPT EDUCATION SYSTEM implemented through one of Eve's biggest kriminal institutions EVE UNIVERSITY, where innocent noobs are taken and taught how to become mindless swarming kriminal henchmen. And many learn this from the perpetuated myth that putting your INTERNET SPACESHIP at risk is bad because eve isn't an internet spaceship game where one might enjoy the excitement of space boat violence but V. SRS. BUISNESS WHERE IF ANYTHING SHOOTS AT YOU IT IS A CATASTROPHE.


DEALING WITH GRIEFING


Due to a DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT with previous diplomat SASSY B, involving a S3verance diplomat and the terms “fat”, “ugly”, and “slag”. The KFCKICC, headed up by Djuba was set up in order to limit harassment both from and towards officers. Below is linked Djuba's Bio which explains the KFCKICC's roll


Hello, my name is Djuba and I am the Head of the Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru Independent Complaints Commission (KFCKICC)

The KFCKICC's job is to make sure that complaints against the Kru are dealt with effectively.

It helps the Kru learn lessons and improve the way they serve the community.

The KFCKICC is independent, making its decisions entirely independently of the Kru, the Minmatar Republic and the Gallente Federation.

Complaints about the overall policies and procedures of the Kru rather than the behaviour or conduct of a member do not fall within the remit of the KFCKICC. These should be directed to Chief Executive Officer Tony Ockabasi.”


In terms of dealing with “GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS” clearly the answer is to violence peoples boats till they realise they are internet pixels ESPECIALLY VIOLENCE THE ECM ONES.



11 comments:

  1. holy crap I just laughed so hard I almost peed myself :)

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  2. Wait, hold up though... Isn't this ECM rant brought to you by the same Intrepid Gallenta Polic Officar that jammed me something like 387 TIMES IN FIVE MINUTES not too long ago?

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  3. I DID NOT JAM YOU SHILO HARRIS, IT WAS POLICE SPECIAL ISSUE EMERGANCY HORNETS, USED ON PEOPLE WHO DONT FIT POINTS TO OVER TANK IN 1v1 JUSTICE BATTLES.

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  4. Yet more proof that I was simply an honest citizen going about my completely peaceful, non-violent business of butterfly collection when my batteries of military-grade 425mm autocannons and heavy-assault missiles (which out of PURE COINCIDENCE happened to be pointed vaguely in your general direction) IN A FREAK MISHAP went off, emptied the magazines, reloaded, went to full overheat and emptied the magazines again, all completely by accident. You completely ignored due process in destroying my boat before I could get them turned off and I shall be forwarding a complaint of police brutality to KFCKICC. GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!

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  5. Blog banters will never be the same again. This is a good thing. XD

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  6. I for one am completely convinced by Shilo's explanation, and OUTRAGED by your shameful lack of due process. I shall be writing a strongly worded space letter to my Member of Space Parliament urging a full investigation.

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  7. Every time an ECM boat is violenced, an angel gets its wings

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  8. Using Hornats on Lady S and the Kru is JUST NOT ON!

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  9. "...is a GROSE MISUSE OF GAME MECHANICS TO HINDER THE GAMEPLAY ENJOYMENT OF ME"

    I laughed hard :D

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  10. I love you. Always fancied a man in uniform.

    Oh violence me, mister. Harder!

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