BATTALING THE PIRAT

September 1^st and the way I like to start any new month is BATTALING THE PIRAT MENACE. I logged on in Police headquarters Thukker Mix, in Ardar. And surprise surprise LOCAL IS FULL OF PIRATS. The pirates were Back to Yarrr flavour pirates, generally good for a fight and nearly always in numbers. Seeing that there were a few in local I undock the justice Tempest and blip the dscan. CYCLON, HURRIKAN, DOMIX, hmm okay TO THE PLANET. I warp in at range from a safe and am soon joined by a cane who burns towards me, I align let him catch up a bit and slam on the mwd as his friends get closer on my scanner. I start cycling the neuts and 800mm's on the cane, his shield is stripped fast, and I begin to go to work on his crunchy Armour centre, unfortunately he turns tail sooner than I was expecting and manages to get out of point range and warp. New Local enters, Back to Yarrr, blip the scanner DRAEK BOAT. Okay manageable, the Cyclone is now overheating mwd at me and closing fast, I lock him up but hold fire until he's well in the danger zone of my turrets, as I really don't wanna miss this kill as well as the cane. Cyclone at 11k GO GO POLIC AUTOCANNONZ. Like the cane he starts to bug out, however this time I'm more ready I flip my pest around heat mwd and Brawl the Pirat man down. During all this the Domi had warped off and back in on the Cyc, as the Cyc exploded I started to move away from the Domi, but not before having my cap drained to nothing, meaning a lot of spamming of my cap boosters. Safely out of heavy neut range now, and the DRAEK BOAT is burning at me fast, I click to top up the pitiful amount of phased plasma in my guns. Ummm oh dear someone's Police boat isn't well stocked for ammo, all I have is Barrage, not really ideal but will have to do, I Load it up and fire some long range rounds at the injured cane 57k off while I await the MIGHTY DRAEK BOAT. Drake hits about 18k and I decided to check my cargo to assess the cap booster situation because I'm gunna need to do some heavy neuting soon on this clearly scram fit DRAEK BOAT. No boosters left dammit, stupid neuty domi, The combination of cap being low, having no boosters left, and having barrage loaded for a DRAEK, brings me to the conclusion that I should bail, The Draek kindly webs me into warp.

Not to long later I hear of KRIMINAL MASTARMIND PERSEPHONE ASTRID, who incidentally IS YET TO MAKE ME A CAKE. And another Bastard a Mister RoninData roaming close by. I know RoninData is in a Taranis but when I flew about to do some reconnaissance in the pest I didn't clock Astrids boat, nevermind i'll go ship to fight the ranis, I hop into A MIGHTY JUSTIC VIGIL LAW BOAT, and go a chasing. Astrids in a Crow WACK, although I reckon I can take a Crow down in my vigil it's a dicey fight so really I need to go for the ranis. I give chase. Astrid orbits me at a gate at 100 for a while with the ranis clearly close by on Dscan, DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID PERSEPHONE ASTRID I AM NOT ROLLING OFF THE GATE WITH THE RANIS SO CLOSE AT LEAST SEND HIM TO A FURTHER SAFE IF YOU WANT TO TRY THAT TRAP.

Astrid then warps off to the Klogori gate, the ranis I assume does as well. I give chase and being pirates in two interceptors they decide to try and keep moving ahead of me instead of making battal. THEN THEY ARE UNDONE BY THEIR NATURAL DESIRE TO PICK ON THE WEAK. I jump into Orfrold after them, I hold cloak, as I see a potential pve cane on scan, easy and tempting prey for two pirate intys, so I rightly assume they are holding cloak looking to see where he is. Astrid then warps in the canes direction PERFECT, I know full well Astrid won't engage if RoninData had warped for tackle, as shes a pew for profit kinda gal, but from what I know of Mr Ronindata from hearing other Bastards talk of him, is that he's the type who's well up for a GF GF. I uncloak dcu on preheat ab, sure enough the brave Mr RoninData uncloaks and goes for me. \o/

I go to work on the Ranis, Astrid arrives when he's in half hull and starts slamming missiles into my vigil from outside of point range. The Taranis explodes in flames of Justice just as Astrid gets into point range. I then obviously being in deep hull at this point go down. After this I realise I had forgotten a damage rig :( this would of saved my Vigil cos really popping the ranis one volley earlier would of let me get out.

Soon after when PERSPHONE ASTRID had logged off WITHOUT GIVING ME ANY CAKE. Mr RoninData and I agree to a good ol' fashioned Rifter 1v1. I assume he's gunna be Cookie cutter plate, repper, ac's, ab, full tackle, and I decide to grab an Arty Rifter from my hanger, a fit that I totally stole, and slightly modified from a very talented local solo warrior named Snippse. I hold range throughout the fight and Mr RoninData satisfyingly explodes.

GF GF

EVIDENCE COLLECTION

Ardar was pretty empty, not long ago i'd lost a Tempest to a battlecruiser gang, and the wreck was 60k off the Hadozeko gate. So being the enterprising young officer that I am I hop into my VIGIL BOAT OF JUSTICE ENFORCEMENT AND EVIDENCE RECOVERY, to go and salvage my wreck. I notice in an intel channel that “The Entity” a terribad alliance who like to bait and blob are a few jumps out in 3 Hurricanes, I don't pay much attention to it though as there is evidence to be recovered.

I land on the gate and head out to the wreck, lock it up and proceed to salvage. Then local jumps up and the gate flashes. An Entity Rifter and Stiletto uncloak and start burning towards me with MWD's.

THIS IS A KRIME SCENE AND OFFBOUNDS TO MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC.

I lock up the Rifter as he screeches into scrambler range, I move to 7k from him and turn on my rails making sure to stay within 5k of the Tempest wreck to continue salvaging.

SALVAGE SUCCESSFUL \o/

Then the interfering Rifter explodes, and I turn my attention to the Stiletto that is pointing me from 20k, and the three Hurricane class boats steaming towards me. I burn away from the Hurricanes gaining some distance, then turn a harsh 180 degrees, heat my afterburner and scramble the Stiletto.

The intercepter pilot is soon, much like his Rifter friend in a POD!

His explosion however coincided with a Hurricane getting into long point range, with my Vigil in deep structure and precious evidence in my cargo hold it seems attempting arrest of the Hurricanes would be fool hardy, so I burn out of point range and warp with 28% Hull.

I dock up in Thukker mix to process the evidence.

GF GF

Vigil of justice

The past few days I have mostly been rolling in a Vigil.

I’m in Ardar, and a chap named d3an0 seemed rather keen on owning one of my corpses, unwilling to pay my REASONABLE special price for one. I then offered to put a corpse of mine in the cargo of my Vigil and 1v1 his Incursus, he agrees, His Incursus is blaster,

Web + scram + afterburner + rails + superior speed of the Vigil = Dead Incursus

Convinced I won because of my web, he asks to fight me in his Catalyst with a NO WEB SPECIAL COMBAT RULE.

The Catalyst doesn’t fair well.

Later on I engage a Kriminal Amarr Crow class boat, after some fancy maneuvers I manage to web and scram him. My rails go to work, his standard missiles are also hurting me rather alot. We hit hull together, COME ON LIL VIGIL COME ON…………

Unfortunately I exploded first. I then docked up, put some more Vigils in the oven, and logged for the night.

A few days later back in a brand spanking new Vigil. An Amarr Kriminal in a Thrasher is spotted in Ardar. Officer Sassy B is in Pursuit in a Vigil Lazor Issue Police Boat, Sassy B engages and the Thrasher RESISTS ARREST. I arrive a little late as Officer Sassy explodes.

Like any maverick detective avenging the death of their plutonic police officer partner in krime prevention. I ATTACK. The Thrasher tries to de-aggress, BUT THE FIRERY OVERHEATED RAILS OF MY VIGIL DEMAND REVENGE. The Thrasher changes his mind and starts to fire back but it is too late by then and JUSTICE IS SERVED.

But at a great price.

I then decide to go partake in a little hobby of mine that I like to call “BLOWING UP BLACK RABBITS ACADAMY KRIMINALS”

On my way to Auner I spot a Rabbits Rifter. I use my awesome undercover skills to sit at a planet in my Vigil disguised as a Civilian waiting to be mugged. Of course I’m the only person in local so he MIGHT know it’s me.

He lands on the planet and I move in for arrest, web, scram, afterburner on, get range…

…wait a sec… he’s not shooting me?

Then my drone control window disappears…

……….NOOOOOO NOT MY POLICE ISSUE HINDERANCE BOAT. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE DEATH OF MY BELOVED SIDEKICK “WARRIOR 2”.

I overheat my guns “NOW YOU DIE KRIMINAL”

He is destroyed in a cascade of Federation Navy Antimatter.

I snag the pod and no bail is offered.