New Years Backlog, Tempest and T-Shirts

A series of fines were issued over the festive season for THOSE WHO GOT OVERLY MERRY, AND TOOK IRRESPONSIBLE CHARGE OF A SPACE VESSEL. None of the kriminals involved as of this morning had paid, So the new year began with OFFICAL POLIC BUISNESS.

Dil'e Mahn

FIXED PENALTY NOTICE

From: Lady Shaniqua

Sent: 2010.12.29 23:05

To: Dil'e Mahn

DEAR SIR/MADAM

This is an OFFICAL NOTICE OF PENALTY CHARGES,ur case has been reviewed and you have been found GUILTY of FLYING A SPACE BOAT UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING, We tak into consideration that you were flying under orders of KRIMINAL MASTERMIND DRINKING MAN FLASFRESH and HARSHER JUSTIC WILL BE SEEKED UPON HIM. YOUR FINE STANDS AT FIFTY MILLION ISK. To be payed to a representative of Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru.

SIGNED

OFFICER SHANIQUA

When undocking this morning Dil'e Mahn's fine stood at FIFTY MILLION ISK. And quite handily soon after undocking, the fugative entered local in a blaster Ishkur. A fully fitted Ishkur costs approximately 24 million isk, destroying his Ishkur would account for almost half of his fine.

Eventually Mr Mahn was coaxed to a Planet where my JAGAER POLIC ATTACK BOAT lay in wait. He landed about 30k off, Sirens screeching loudly I after burned towards him fusion loaded and pre heated. As soon as I entered range my scrambler was activated and my 125s began ripping chunks out of his sluggish kriminal vessel. UNABLE TO WITHSTAND THE FORCES OF JUSTIC his Ishkur boat exploded. This helpfully brought the amount owed in fines down to 26million isk in arrears. However I had also managed to APPREHEND Mr Mahn's pod, while in custody Mr Mahn's agreed to pay KFCK the sum of 40 million isk. This covered the remainder of his fine and the additional administrative costs incurred during his arrest. Mr Mahn's pod was then set free to return to civilization as a reformed citizen.

TEMPEST RETRIEVAL

Not long after Mr Mahn's fine had been settled, Officah Sassy B spotted a VIGILANTE in a Tempest. Always quick to react Officah Sassy began locating in a Cheetah. Sassy then warped me in to tackle in an official kfck Jaguar. I landed 90k off the Tempest, heated my mids and burned for him. Amazingly he didn't warp off and I managed to land point. Soon after tackling Sassy landed on grid with the dps THE MIGHTY SUCCUBUS. However upon seeing the fearsome vessel, the kriminal unable to face the boats RIGHTEOUS LASERS OF JUSTIC ejected from his boat. Sassy then got to the task of distracting the local pirate rats attacking the empty pest, while I docked up the Jaguar. Once all the rats had stopped targeting the pilot less battleship I was able to board. The Tempest was safely docked in Thukker where it shall be tested by forensics before being repurposed for police duty.

RIFTAH T-SHIRT BEST T-SHIRT

Some of you may be aware of the recent contest to design an eve online T-Shirt. For those that weren't THERE WAS A RECENT CONTEST TO DESIGN AN EVE ONLINE T-SHIRT.

Anyway the entries are currently on display to be voted for.

THIS DESIGN

is an awesome Rifter by OFFICAH SASSY B and I recommend voting for it.

Not only is it awesome but it is also OFFICALLY APPROVED BY THE GALLANTA SPACE POLIC.

BATTALING THE PIRAT

September 1^st and the way I like to start any new month is BATTALING THE PIRAT MENACE. I logged on in Police headquarters Thukker Mix, in Ardar. And surprise surprise LOCAL IS FULL OF PIRATS. The pirates were Back to Yarrr flavour pirates, generally good for a fight and nearly always in numbers. Seeing that there were a few in local I undock the justice Tempest and blip the dscan. CYCLON, HURRIKAN, DOMIX, hmm okay TO THE PLANET. I warp in at range from a safe and am soon joined by a cane who burns towards me, I align let him catch up a bit and slam on the mwd as his friends get closer on my scanner. I start cycling the neuts and 800mm's on the cane, his shield is stripped fast, and I begin to go to work on his crunchy Armour centre, unfortunately he turns tail sooner than I was expecting and manages to get out of point range and warp. New Local enters, Back to Yarrr, blip the scanner DRAEK BOAT. Okay manageable, the Cyclone is now overheating mwd at me and closing fast, I lock him up but hold fire until he's well in the danger zone of my turrets, as I really don't wanna miss this kill as well as the cane. Cyclone at 11k GO GO POLIC AUTOCANNONZ. Like the cane he starts to bug out, however this time I'm more ready I flip my pest around heat mwd and Brawl the Pirat man down. During all this the Domi had warped off and back in on the Cyc, as the Cyc exploded I started to move away from the Domi, but not before having my cap drained to nothing, meaning a lot of spamming of my cap boosters. Safely out of heavy neut range now, and the DRAEK BOAT is burning at me fast, I click to top up the pitiful amount of phased plasma in my guns. Ummm oh dear someone's Police boat isn't well stocked for ammo, all I have is Barrage, not really ideal but will have to do, I Load it up and fire some long range rounds at the injured cane 57k off while I await the MIGHTY DRAEK BOAT. Drake hits about 18k and I decided to check my cargo to assess the cap booster situation because I'm gunna need to do some heavy neuting soon on this clearly scram fit DRAEK BOAT. No boosters left dammit, stupid neuty domi, The combination of cap being low, having no boosters left, and having barrage loaded for a DRAEK, brings me to the conclusion that I should bail, The Draek kindly webs me into warp.

Not to long later I hear of KRIMINAL MASTARMIND PERSEPHONE ASTRID, who incidentally IS YET TO MAKE ME A CAKE. And another Bastard a Mister RoninData roaming close by. I know RoninData is in a Taranis but when I flew about to do some reconnaissance in the pest I didn't clock Astrids boat, nevermind i'll go ship to fight the ranis, I hop into A MIGHTY JUSTIC VIGIL LAW BOAT, and go a chasing. Astrids in a Crow WACK, although I reckon I can take a Crow down in my vigil it's a dicey fight so really I need to go for the ranis. I give chase. Astrid orbits me at a gate at 100 for a while with the ranis clearly close by on Dscan, DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID PERSEPHONE ASTRID I AM NOT ROLLING OFF THE GATE WITH THE RANIS SO CLOSE AT LEAST SEND HIM TO A FURTHER SAFE IF YOU WANT TO TRY THAT TRAP.

Astrid then warps off to the Klogori gate, the ranis I assume does as well. I give chase and being pirates in two interceptors they decide to try and keep moving ahead of me instead of making battal. THEN THEY ARE UNDONE BY THEIR NATURAL DESIRE TO PICK ON THE WEAK. I jump into Orfrold after them, I hold cloak, as I see a potential pve cane on scan, easy and tempting prey for two pirate intys, so I rightly assume they are holding cloak looking to see where he is. Astrid then warps in the canes direction PERFECT, I know full well Astrid won't engage if RoninData had warped for tackle, as shes a pew for profit kinda gal, but from what I know of Mr Ronindata from hearing other Bastards talk of him, is that he's the type who's well up for a GF GF. I uncloak dcu on preheat ab, sure enough the brave Mr RoninData uncloaks and goes for me. \o/

I go to work on the Ranis, Astrid arrives when he's in half hull and starts slamming missiles into my vigil from outside of point range. The Taranis explodes in flames of Justice just as Astrid gets into point range. I then obviously being in deep hull at this point go down. After this I realise I had forgotten a damage rig :( this would of saved my Vigil cos really popping the ranis one volley earlier would of let me get out.

Soon after when PERSPHONE ASTRID had logged off WITHOUT GIVING ME ANY CAKE. Mr RoninData and I agree to a good ol' fashioned Rifter 1v1. I assume he's gunna be Cookie cutter plate, repper, ac's, ab, full tackle, and I decide to grab an Arty Rifter from my hanger, a fit that I totally stole, and slightly modified from a very talented local solo warrior named Snippse. I hold range throughout the fight and Mr RoninData satisfyingly explodes.

GF GF

Scrap Metal Battle Boat

Sassy B rather recently got T2 battleship guns, this is something I was TOTALLY JEALOUS OF, so I've been training for them myself. Just eleven days to go \o/. My impatience has led me to roam this weekend in a cheap tempest with 300k isk named guns. All in all I lost about 20mil after insurance, when it exploded a few hours ago. I TOTALLY GOT MY ISKS WORTH!

FIRST BLUD!!!

Newly fit up I jump into Floseswin, I warped to the Uisper gate and when I land the gate flashes, so I decide to see what arrives. An Arazu appears and then cloaks up 15k from me. A Wolf class space boat then de cloaks and tackles me. I lock it up and hold my aggro waiting for the Arazu which I intended to primary. Then the Arazu de cloaks and attacks 10K FROM ME!!! lol wat. I then turn my gaze to the Wolf, who had kindly started moving to 13k TO BE IN HIS SMALL ARTY OPTIMAL??? needless to say that was somewhat a better distance for me to track him at.

MIGHTY GALLANTA BATTALKRUISER!!!

Satisfied that my pest had already earned its keep. I head out a little later towards Ezsur. Upon arriving in Ezsur I'm promptly tackled by a Myrm. I DECIDE TO MAKE BATTAL. The Myrm is orbiting me close and has me webbed and scrammed, and I'm having a rather hard time tracking him. But first things first, an opportunist AMARR KRIMINAL had landed in a Rupture and targeted me. I fire a couple of Volleys at him stripping his shield, and he obviously gets the hell out or Ezsur.

My Neuts are on the Myrm, and he's dropping my armour at a steady pace, while my guns are scratching at his armour which is repped up quickly, I'm patient, and eventually my neuting starts to show, he loses point and web, I gain a few clicks and my guns start to track better before he gets his scram/web back on. Then he loses scram/web again, now I'm at 4k, hitting him harder as my own armour dips below 20%. Then Again, I'm at 11k now, at this point I'm just about to trickle into Hull, but this fight is now going to be over quick. The Myrm's hull shatters. And The Tempest holds the field

GF GF

SUPER HAPPY FUN HADOZEKO

Sassy had an unfit Armageddon hull sitting in Egmar. So I offer to scout it back to Ardar in my Tempest. Upon jumping into Hadozeko, I, in a COMPLETLY PRO miss click then warp to the wrong gate. After landing on the Resbroko gate I proceed to sit confused and motionless in space, trying to figure out how I could possibly be getting the Resbroko gate on d-scan from the Klogori gate. After about a minute of being completely baffled by my own mistake, A HULK. I repeat A HULK, uncloaks 15k off me. I stare at it in wonderment on my overview for a few seconds, it doesn't appear to be doing anything....OMG WHAT AM I DOING STARING AT IT, TARGET TARGET. I then proceed to violence it.

So now I have GCC in Hadozeko, WHAT AN AWESOME SCOUT I AM! An intel channel then lights up, seems a Battlecruiser heavy Black Rabbits gang is in Ardar, with a Phobos and some AF's.

A Harpy appears on D-scan, a very obvious rabbits Harpy. Its in a belt near the Ardar Gate. I warp in at range and the rabbits Harpy heads towards me, then my overview fills with Rabbits about 50k off, PERFECT. Fair well little Harpy, your hull looked so happy and unassuming yet JUSTICE MUST PROVAIL. I warp out after the kill as the rest of the rabbits were approaching point range, and a plated battleship isn't the ideal boat for 1 v many nano antics.

FALCON, FALCON, FALCON, FALCON.............INSURANCE.

I'm not even sure I have to say a lot about a solo loss with four Falcons on it really, hardly a battle and needless to say my Tempest is now in VALHALLA.

After today I've decided that battleships are clearly very fun solo boats, and I am now totally looking forward to T2 large AC's.