Nothing to see here

One of the advantages of being a MAVERICK OFFICAH is that we don't have to live by THE BOOK and can use unsanctioned methods to ENFORC JUSTIC, methods like utilizing the boats of kriminals against them.

This officer, a while back, came into the possession of two Cynabal class space boat vessels of KRIME LORDS THE ANGAL KARATL. Flying them feels somewhat like cheating, its like a Vagabond with the agility of a Taranis which is an intensely MIGHTY combination. I recently bust some small kriminal gangs in them, even though 1v3 victories totally don't count as awesome in a Cynabal, I SHALL STILL LOG THE BATTALS INTO POLIC RECORDS.

JUVENILE DELINQUENT OFFICAH

I hadn't been logged on long, and had just undocked to group up drones and run routine safety checks on my 2^nd more maverick fit Cynabal. When on scan I spot A GROUP OF YOUFFS, flying WITHOUT LICENCES while UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES, the gang then proceeded to LOITER at a planet, unfortunately I arrived on the scene as the last youff was leaving. I then decided to patrol the top belt, soon enough a Punisher lands 20k from me and points me with a disruptor, he's followed shortly by a Thrasher. My 425s at 20k make very quick work of the Punisher. I then switch to the Thrasher as a Harpy lands on me at 0. I Finish the Thrasher. And hit my MWD as the Harpy gets scram and web on me, the momentum of the mwd burst before the scram hit takes me to 10k meaning that its soon all over for the Harpy.

THE AMARR KRIMINAL MENACE

A few days later I decide to undock my more standard fit Cynabal, Very quickly I notice that AMARR KRIMINALS are assaulting a local Minmatar Outpost. I scan Ishkur, Wolf, Kestrel and Thorax class space boats, I warp without thinking and land on the acceleration gate. OH NOES their not in the plex IT TWAS A CUNNING RUSE, their all on the acceleration gate. The Ishkur and Wolf scram me, I lock all the ships up turn my neut on the Ishkur and overheat my Afterburner. No web on me and me with a heated afterburner being faster than the two sluggish Assault frigs means that The Ishkur is soon reduced to wreckage. Closely followed my his accomplice in the Wolf. The other kriminals panic and try to run, The Kestrel gets out but I manage to grab point on the Thorax. Needless to say his attempt at RESISTING ARREST was foiled.

As I was gathering evidence from the battle, I became SHOCKED AND APPALLED when a KRIMINAL SPY UNCLOAKED. I Lock up the offending Cheetah and with the aid of my 425s PREPARED HIS BOATS FOR KRIME SCENE EVIDENCE PROCESSING.

GF GF

Blog Banter: SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

Welcome to the twentieth installment of the EVE Blog Banter, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to crazykinux@gmail.com. Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

With the recent completion of the 3rd installment of the Hulkageddon last month,

@CyberinEVE , author of Hands Off, My Loots!, asks: "Griefing is a very big part of EVE. Ninja Salvaging, Suicide Ganking, Trolling, and Scamming are all a very large part of the game. What do you think about all these things? You can talk about one, or all...but just let us know your overall opinion on Griefing, and any recommendations you may have to change it if you think it's needed."

So since this blog banter is about griefing, then I should clearly take the time to highlight the common problem of SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

OFFICAHS ARE HERE FOR UR PROTECTION

The Gallanta space police force operate under a STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT, but we DO NOT have to tolerate SPACE BOAT or VERBAL ABUSE from kriminalz and disruptive citizens. Such actions may result in a FIXED PENALTY NOTICE or in some extreme cases THE USE OF SPACE BOATS TO FORCEFULLY ADMINISTER JUSTICE.

UNGRATEFUL CITIZANZ

A common form of abuse towards Gallanta Police Officers comes from VIGILANTES UNDER ARREST. Many vigilantes when caught, DENY KRIMINAL ACTIVITY, they probably believe this, as the twisted mind of a kriminal is a complex thing, so to them engaging in acts of MURDER towards Angel, Sansha, Serpentis, Gurista and Blood Raider “Pirates” WITHOUT TRIAL is acceptable 'because they are kriminals' it seems they don't realise that EVIDENCE IS NEEDED and kriminals must be dealt with THROUGH OFFICAL CHANNELS. More importantly they fail to realize it is also for THEIR OWN PROTECTION members of the public are not properly trained, and therefore are putting the lives of themselves in danger while seeking acts of revenge upon VIOLENT KRIME LORDS. Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru have received MANY ABUSIVE LETTERS and had to put up with ENRAGED VIGILANTES shouting harassment at us in both local and private channels. Yet our dedication to justice must prevail and despite this ATTEMPTED GRIEFING we know that it is our duty to continue.

GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS

Many kriminals take drastic measures to grief Gallanta police by trying to stop us in our pursuit of justice using large overkill gangs with KRIMINAL ISSUE FALCONS, BLACKBIRDS, GRIFFINS AND HORNET EC-300's. Not allowing me to violence your boat through these means is a GROSE MISUSE OF GAME MECHANICS TO HINDER THE GAMEPLAY ENJOYMENT OF ME. Many learn this in the CORRUPT EDUCATION SYSTEM implemented through one of Eve's biggest kriminal institutions EVE UNIVERSITY, where innocent noobs are taken and taught how to become mindless swarming kriminal henchmen. And many learn this from the perpetuated myth that putting your INTERNET SPACESHIP at risk is bad because eve isn't an internet spaceship game where one might enjoy the excitement of space boat violence but V. SRS. BUISNESS WHERE IF ANYTHING SHOOTS AT YOU IT IS A CATASTROPHE.

DEALING WITH GRIEFING

Due to a DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT with previous diplomat SASSY B, involving a S3verance diplomat and the terms “fat”, “ugly”, and “slag”. The KFCKICC, headed up by Djuba was set up in order to limit harassment both from and towards officers. Below is linked Djuba's Bio which explains the KFCKICC's roll

“Hello, my name is Djuba and I am the Head of the Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru Independent Complaints Commission (KFCKICC)

The KFCKICC's job is to make sure that complaints against the Kru are dealt with effectively.

It helps the Kru learn lessons and improve the way they serve the community.

The KFCKICC is independent, making its decisions entirely independently of the Kru, the Minmatar Republic and the Gallente Federation.

Complaints about the overall policies and procedures of the Kru rather than the behaviour or conduct of a member do not fall within the remit of the KFCKICC. These should be directed to Chief Executive Officer Tony Ockabasi.”

In terms of dealing with “GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS” clearly the answer is to violence peoples boats till they realise they are internet pixels ESPECIALLY VIOLENCE THE ECM ONES.

EVIDENCE COLLECTION

Ardar was pretty empty, not long ago i'd lost a Tempest to a battlecruiser gang, and the wreck was 60k off the Hadozeko gate. So being the enterprising young officer that I am I hop into my VIGIL BOAT OF JUSTICE ENFORCEMENT AND EVIDENCE RECOVERY, to go and salvage my wreck. I notice in an intel channel that “The Entity” a terribad alliance who like to bait and blob are a few jumps out in 3 Hurricanes, I don't pay much attention to it though as there is evidence to be recovered.

I land on the gate and head out to the wreck, lock it up and proceed to salvage. Then local jumps up and the gate flashes. An Entity Rifter and Stiletto uncloak and start burning towards me with MWD's.

THIS IS A KRIME SCENE AND OFFBOUNDS TO MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC.

I lock up the Rifter as he screeches into scrambler range, I move to 7k from him and turn on my rails making sure to stay within 5k of the Tempest wreck to continue salvaging.

SALVAGE SUCCESSFUL \o/

Then the interfering Rifter explodes, and I turn my attention to the Stiletto that is pointing me from 20k, and the three Hurricane class boats steaming towards me. I burn away from the Hurricanes gaining some distance, then turn a harsh 180 degrees, heat my afterburner and scramble the Stiletto.

The intercepter pilot is soon, much like his Rifter friend in a POD!

His explosion however coincided with a Hurricane getting into long point range, with my Vigil in deep structure and precious evidence in my cargo hold it seems attempting arrest of the Hurricanes would be fool hardy, so I burn out of point range and warp with 28% Hull.

I dock up in Thukker mix to process the evidence.

GF GF

Scrap Metal Battle Boat

Sassy B rather recently got T2 battleship guns, this is something I was TOTALLY JEALOUS OF, so I've been training for them myself. Just eleven days to go \o/. My impatience has led me to roam this weekend in a cheap tempest with 300k isk named guns. All in all I lost about 20mil after insurance, when it exploded a few hours ago. I TOTALLY GOT MY ISKS WORTH!

FIRST BLUD!!!

Newly fit up I jump into Floseswin, I warped to the Uisper gate and when I land the gate flashes, so I decide to see what arrives. An Arazu appears and then cloaks up 15k from me. A Wolf class space boat then de cloaks and tackles me. I lock it up and hold my aggro waiting for the Arazu which I intended to primary. Then the Arazu de cloaks and attacks 10K FROM ME!!! lol wat. I then turn my gaze to the Wolf, who had kindly started moving to 13k TO BE IN HIS SMALL ARTY OPTIMAL??? needless to say that was somewhat a better distance for me to track him at.

MIGHTY GALLANTA BATTALKRUISER!!!

Satisfied that my pest had already earned its keep. I head out a little later towards Ezsur. Upon arriving in Ezsur I'm promptly tackled by a Myrm. I DECIDE TO MAKE BATTAL. The Myrm is orbiting me close and has me webbed and scrammed, and I'm having a rather hard time tracking him. But first things first, an opportunist AMARR KRIMINAL had landed in a Rupture and targeted me. I fire a couple of Volleys at him stripping his shield, and he obviously gets the hell out or Ezsur.

My Neuts are on the Myrm, and he's dropping my armour at a steady pace, while my guns are scratching at his armour which is repped up quickly, I'm patient, and eventually my neuting starts to show, he loses point and web, I gain a few clicks and my guns start to track better before he gets his scram/web back on. Then he loses scram/web again, now I'm at 4k, hitting him harder as my own armour dips below 20%. Then Again, I'm at 11k now, at this point I'm just about to trickle into Hull, but this fight is now going to be over quick. The Myrm's hull shatters. And The Tempest holds the field

GF GF

SUPER HAPPY FUN HADOZEKO

Sassy had an unfit Armageddon hull sitting in Egmar. So I offer to scout it back to Ardar in my Tempest. Upon jumping into Hadozeko, I, in a COMPLETLY PRO miss click then warp to the wrong gate. After landing on the Resbroko gate I proceed to sit confused and motionless in space, trying to figure out how I could possibly be getting the Resbroko gate on d-scan from the Klogori gate. After about a minute of being completely baffled by my own mistake, A HULK. I repeat A HULK, uncloaks 15k off me. I stare at it in wonderment on my overview for a few seconds, it doesn't appear to be doing anything....OMG WHAT AM I DOING STARING AT IT, TARGET TARGET. I then proceed to violence it.

So now I have GCC in Hadozeko, WHAT AN AWESOME SCOUT I AM! An intel channel then lights up, seems a Battlecruiser heavy Black Rabbits gang is in Ardar, with a Phobos and some AF's.

A Harpy appears on D-scan, a very obvious rabbits Harpy. Its in a belt near the Ardar Gate. I warp in at range and the rabbits Harpy heads towards me, then my overview fills with Rabbits about 50k off, PERFECT. Fair well little Harpy, your hull looked so happy and unassuming yet JUSTICE MUST PROVAIL. I warp out after the kill as the rest of the rabbits were approaching point range, and a plated battleship isn't the ideal boat for 1 v many nano antics.

FALCON, FALCON, FALCON, FALCON.............INSURANCE.

I'm not even sure I have to say a lot about a solo loss with four Falcons on it really, hardly a battle and needless to say my Tempest is now in VALHALLA.

After today I've decided that battleships are clearly very fun solo boats, and I am now totally looking forward to T2 large AC's.

Vigil of justice

The past few days I have mostly been rolling in a Vigil.

I’m in Ardar, and a chap named d3an0 seemed rather keen on owning one of my corpses, unwilling to pay my REASONABLE special price for one. I then offered to put a corpse of mine in the cargo of my Vigil and 1v1 his Incursus, he agrees, His Incursus is blaster,

Web + scram + afterburner + rails + superior speed of the Vigil = Dead Incursus

Convinced I won because of my web, he asks to fight me in his Catalyst with a NO WEB SPECIAL COMBAT RULE.

The Catalyst doesn’t fair well.

Later on I engage a Kriminal Amarr Crow class boat, after some fancy maneuvers I manage to web and scram him. My rails go to work, his standard missiles are also hurting me rather alot. We hit hull together, COME ON LIL VIGIL COME ON…………

Unfortunately I exploded first. I then docked up, put some more Vigils in the oven, and logged for the night.

A few days later back in a brand spanking new Vigil. An Amarr Kriminal in a Thrasher is spotted in Ardar. Officer Sassy B is in Pursuit in a Vigil Lazor Issue Police Boat, Sassy B engages and the Thrasher RESISTS ARREST. I arrive a little late as Officer Sassy explodes.

Like any maverick detective avenging the death of their plutonic police officer partner in krime prevention. I ATTACK. The Thrasher tries to de-aggress, BUT THE FIRERY OVERHEATED RAILS OF MY VIGIL DEMAND REVENGE. The Thrasher changes his mind and starts to fire back but it is too late by then and JUSTICE IS SERVED.

But at a great price.

I then decide to go partake in a little hobby of mine that I like to call “BLOWING UP BLACK RABBITS ACADAMY KRIMINALS”

On my way to Auner I spot a Rabbits Rifter. I use my awesome undercover skills to sit at a planet in my Vigil disguised as a Civilian waiting to be mugged. Of course I’m the only person in local so he MIGHT know it’s me.

He lands on the planet and I move in for arrest, web, scram, afterburner on, get range…

…wait a sec… he’s not shooting me?

Then my drone control window disappears…

……….NOOOOOO NOT MY POLICE ISSUE HINDERANCE BOAT. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE DEATH OF MY BELOVED SIDEKICK “WARRIOR 2”.

I overheat my guns “NOW YOU DIE KRIMINAL”

He is destroyed in a cascade of Federation Navy Antimatter.

I snag the pod and no bail is offered.