CHRISTMASS PATROL

It is 2 days before christmas and the kriminals of eve are all up to DASTARDLY EVIL WRONGDOINGS. So a SPECIAL POLIC PATROL IS NEEDED. That patrol...

… IS ME

IN A RIFTER \o/

I'd Just lost my Typhoon battleboat on its first ever patrol jumping into many many DRAEKS.

My fresh clone woke up two jumps from KBP entrance to the kriminal infested space known as PROVIDENCE. I checked the hanger where an afterburner fit Rifter sat.

IT GLEAMED WITH A RADIENCE OF INFINITE JUSTIC.

So I decide to fly it on a short patrol of Provi. Two jumps in I noticed that I am being actively stalked by two suspicious looking characters flying a blaster Taranis boat and the FEARSOME SENTINAL VESSAL. After a couple of warp in and outs on the two at a gate I very luckily warp at range and land on top of the ranis with the sentinel 100k off PERFECT HE CANNOT MAKE WARP TO ME FROM THERE \o/

I heat EVERYTHING and tear into the Taranis with Phased Plasma as the Sentinel burns at me with his mwd at an alarmingly fast pace. The Sentinel closes into range as the ranis hits the meatiest part of its tank THE MIGHTAY GALLANTA HULL. Neuts and tracking disruption sets in and I do the only thing any self respecting officah of the gallanta police would do I SIT IN THE RANIS's BLASTER OPTIMAL AND BRAWL HIM DOWN.

Right Taranis down and me in scram range of a Sentinal GO GO RIFTAR SCRAMBLAR. I hit approach as he is trying to grab range and I want to track him. A MIGHTY TEST of how quickly I can turn my scrambler and afterburner back on after they turn off at the end of EVERY cycle, begins. And luckily for me I can manage to turn them on before he can pulse his mwd EVERYTIME \o/

THE FEARSOME PIRAT WARLORD EXPLODES IN A FLASH OF PHASED PLASMA AND JUSTIC PROVAILS.

GF GF

WTB Internetz

For those of you wondering about the current infrequency of HIGH OCTANE JUSTIC BATTAL REPORTS, I can assure you I HAVE NOT MAD POLIC RETIREMENT. I'm currently without internetz as i have just moved house IRL and normal polic patrols will resume as soon as i get round to getting connected.

DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

The KFCK JUSTIC ENFORCMANT TEAM haven't been able to log on much recently in order to ENFORCE THE GALLANTA POLIC LAWS, However on Saturday night we managed to find time for a short patrol in RIFTER SPACE BOATS

The evening began with a small engagement with the kriminal lowlife known as EVE UNIVERSITY, who were loitering in Ardar. A rather standard engagement we took down a Raptor before the main blob landed. Sassy then managed to make warp. I was pointed by a Stiletto, so I burned away then flipped my Rifter justice boat around and tackled the kriminal inty. Unfortunately, as I started violencing the kriminal boat standard eve uni practice of DROP THE ECM DRONEZ FROM OUR BLOB ON THE RIFTAH kicked in and I got locked out. :(

I Jumped into a new Rifter and we decided to head Evati way, all seemed rather uneventful until we ran into PIRAT KORPARATION THE BASTARDS. My Rifter landed on the Orfrold gate in Egmar to be confronted by pilots TFS Tibbs in a Wolf Boat and TheHermit in a Crow. Sassy was one jump behind, and we had no idea if more Bastards loomed on the other side of the gate. We came to the decision that an AF and an Inty were no match for DUBBAL RIFTAR, and that we'd go for them and hope nothing we couldn't violence jumped in. I locked them up and got in a tight orbit on Tibbs's Wolf, Rf Fusion loaded in heated 150s, waiting for Sassy to land on grid. As soon as Sassy's Rifter got in Dscan range the over confident pirates opened fire on me. I tackled the Wolf as Sassy B's Rifter boat burst out of warp and we lit him up. As Tibbs entered hull Sassy B peeled off to try and land tackle on the Crow. I promptly finished ADMINISTERING JUSTIC TO THE PIRAT MAN. The Wolf exploded with me in 30% armour and the Crow lingered longer than he should of trying to finish me. Sassy B Unleashed OFFICIAL POLIC WEBBING AND SCRAMBLING WEAPANS upon him, enabling us to MAKE JUSTIC!

GF GF

CURSED COMMAND BOATS

Soooooooooo I've recently trained the command ship skill, it appears these boats have potential to be mighty solo justice boats. HOWEVER actually getting in one is proving A massively expensive and futile ambition.

CLAAAYYYYMOOORRRREEEEE

So, I originally had Sleips in mind, but looking at eft and the market, I decide that Claymores are not only about a hundred million isk cheaper than Sleips but also POWERFUL JUSTIC BRAWLERS.

As suggested in my previous post, Kenssy live very much on the edge when it comes to Isk as we tend to splash out any isk we get on spaceships, and then proceed to get those spaceships exploded AS THIS IS WHAT SPACESHIPS ARE FOR. So when I received some isk donations into my wallet from 2 people who are fans of my blog, I immediately SPENT IT ALL ON A CLAYMORE

\o/

Flashfresh kindly offered The Bastards logistics to move it to low sec for me and it is currently entrusted to them. (totally trusted in fact meaning they could totally steal it)

Now you might be thinking THAT DOESN'T SEEM THAT BAD LS, YOU GOT GIVEN SOME ISK TO BUY THE HULL AND ITS BEING TRANSPORTED FOR YOU. Yes that does seem fine, though I completely failed to notice that Claymores have different pre-requisites to Sleips, meaning I can only fly Sleips. And to be quite honest I don't envisage me getting logistics 4 anytime soon

:( :( :( :(

SLEEIIIPPPPPPPPNNNEEEERRRRR

So back to the original plan then, a Sleip for solo justice action. My hauling alt had just become capable of doing the angel epic arc again so today I spent all morning in Curse

I COMPLETED THE ARC

\o/ WOOOOO \o/

I GOT THE LOOTZ OUT OF NULL TO JITA AND SOLD IT

\o/WOOOO YEAHHHH GO TEAM WOOOO \o/

I USED THE ISK TO BUY A SLEIP

\o/ YEAAHHH WOOO A SLEIP AWESOME \o/

I GOT SUICIDE GANKED BY A MAELSTROM TWO JUMPS OUT OF JITA MOVING IT

:(

ON THE BRIGHTSIDE

Somewhat disappointed in the mornings events, I logged LS on in order to ENFORC JUSTIC, luckily as soon as I undocked my Comet opportunity to VIOLANCE A KRIMINAL presented itself.

A KRIMINAL NAVY SLICER and DESPICABLE PIRAT DRAMIEL were LOITERING WITH INTENT in belt V-1. Although I felt very much like I would like to brawl them both at once it seemed ill advised, so I warped at range to the belt. The kriminals were there and the Dramiel's speed instantly shot up to 6k/s as he blazed towards me. My Comet was ready to battle, my honourable hobgoblin assistance boats were deployed and as he hit 40k I fired up the afterburner AND BURNED WITH THE FIRES OF JUSTIC TOWARDS HIM, No fancy moves, no trying to slingshot into scram range I wanted to get my Neutrons on him as soon as possible as Slicers are fast and I was itching to fire. The Dramiel slammed straight into my web and scram, Null S melted his shields quickly and I was so consumed with BLUDRAGE that I failed to notice I was in armour, so I turned my repper on rather late at about 55% armour, I hit hull first BUT THERE WAS NO WAY JUSTIC WOULD FAIL THIS TIME and the kriminal exploded GLORIOUSLY, I looted some rather fancy evidence and warped before the slicer could do anything detrimental to my boat.

GF GF

HURIKANE OF WELL THOUGHT OUT AND TOTALLY NOT WRECKLESS PLANS OF BATTAL

So I was flying around in my Hurricane trying to not be so wreckless cos I'm rather low on isk at the mo, then what did is see BUT A PROTEUS WITH A FLASHY KRIMINAL LOKI, clearly a not wreckless engagement, I locked them up and looked at them to clock their guns/subs the Loki's subs made it look like a big strange thrasher MY CANE CAN TOTALLY KILL THRASHERS I thought.

Also the Loki appeared to have t1 arty fitted, the Proteus also had t1 guns \o/

Unfortunately before battle could commence a Machariel landed and started firing meta 800mms at the Loki, WTF IS THIS WITH THE 2BILL OF HULLS FLOWN BY PEOPLE WHO CAN'T FIT THEM ALL IN ONE PLACE.

Anyway the T3's ran away and people started smacking each other about being cowards running away from each others t1 gunned lolboats.

As this was happening I FORMULATED AN INGENIUS AND TOTALLY NOT WRECKLESS PLAN. The plan was to swap the nano out in my cane for a third gyro load fusion chase the t3s and BRAWL THEM DOWN.

After The Mach had gone I pursued the t3 kriminals 2 jumps, I missed tackling the flashy Loki on 2 gates AS THEY HAD CLEARLY BRIBED THE CCP TO GIVE ME BAD UNCLOAKS ON JUMPS. They then told me how they can totally blow me up and docked :(

Disheartened I headed back to Ardar, but shortly after I'd docked up in Thukker the Proteus pilot entered system. I TURNED ON POLIC SIRENS AND MADE HASTE TO THE FLOSESWIN GATE. I set an orbit of 10k and waited for the Loki. The Proteus soon appeared on grid but he wasn't flashy and taking sentry fire for 2x t3s in a cane seemed unwise even if they were T1 gunned. Then the Loki pilot appeared in local, THE GATE FLASHED. I overloaded my highs and point in anticipation. Since the Proteus was on grid already I was gunna need to drop the Loki fast if I wanted to brawl them both down. The Loki uncloaked and started re-approaching the gate WITHOUT A PROP MOD, 20k from me, I heated the MWD pointed the kriminal AND GAVE HIM A SOLID BUMP OF JUSTIC \o/

I then park my cane next to him bombarding RF Fusion into his hull as he helplessly boosts his shields UNABLE TO ESCAPE THE JUSTIC OF MY WELL THOUGHT OUT PLAN OF ATTACK. The Proteus doesn't aggress at all he just sits there as the Loki Satisfyingly

EXPLODES \o/

I scoop the loot and warp off, as my Highs are dangerously hot and the Proteus hadn't aggressed.

Upon seeing the kill mail I feel somewhat disappointed that the booster didn't drop, but given police funds were at 16mil I can't really complain when I got the faction point and amplifier.

Later that evening, I'm returning to Ardar from Amamake in my Rifter, WHEN A GATE CAMP OF KRIMINALZ ATTEMPTS TO VIOLENCE ME they were flying a Muninn, a Harpy, a Rifter, and a Hurricane. I ofc escaped and with aggression on all of them JUST TWO JUMPS FROM MY HURRICANE. I quickly switch into my cane refitted its nano and returned for the kriminals. Conveniently the Muninn had entered Frerstorn one jump ahead of his gang, I let him aggress me so he thinks he's forcing me through the gate into his friends, and I believe it takes him by surprise when, after he agresses, I UNLEASH THE RIGHTEOUS FURY OF MY 425MM's. The Muninn, Is falling fast as the gate flash's, I fly away from the Harpy, Cane and Rifter staying out of possible scram range while finishing off the Muninn. Then I switch my guns and drones onto the Harpy, that soon like his Muninn friend IS REDUCED TO WRECKAGE BY THE FORCES OF GOOD. The Rifter of course is next to explode. RIGHT TIME FOR YOU TO SPLODE NOW MISTER KRIMINAL HURRICANE, as I begin to go to work on the cane, what appears but of course A DAM FALCAN!!! I'm promptly jammed, I hold on grid for a bit to see if I can get a lock on the Falcon but I'm completely permajammed, I BUMP HIM TO SHOW MY DISAPROAVAL and then dock up, to rage a lil bit about how much I hate Falcons. During which time I notice Laedy had posted a new blog ABOUT THE EVIL BANE OF ANY SOLO PVPER and how her new corp like them.

GF GF (exc. FALCAN!!!)

Re-EDUKATION

Of recent I have mainly been BATTALING THE KRIMINAL MENACE THAT IS EVE UNIVERSITY. A small group of Ivy League kriminals have set themselves up in my neighbouring system of Hadozeko. They are a lot more fun to engage than normal eve uni gangs, they still drop ecm boats and Recons on a solo Rupture but less than your average eve uni gang, Also they still have the annoyingly self righteous BUT WE HAVE LOW SP, OUR PILOTS FLY RECONS AND HACS AND R OLDER TOONS THAN YOU BUT WE HAVE LOW SP!!!!!!! SO FALCON, RAPIER, 3 BCS AND SOME FRIGS V YOUR CANE IS GF GF COS WE HAVE LOW SP GF GF

We have had some great fights though with many loses and kills on both sides. In order to counter the ewar issue I have on occasion teamed up with other JUSTIC WARRIORZ who I've been rather enjoying flying with of recent.

MISTER KINGWOOD

I encounted mister Kingwood in a Hadozeko belt as I was swatting off a very ambitious Malediction. We agreed to a Cyclone 1v1 and I headed to Ardar to grab my Cyc, while he safed up.

Neither of us had crystals, and were both fielding damage drones and fairly standard fits. I landed at 0 on Kingwood, HAM's and AC's fired out from our boats, the battle was brutal, but my third gyro made the difference and Mister Kingwood's Cyclone was decommissioned. After chatting a bit, I deduced that Mister Kingwood WAS ALSO LOCKED IN AN EPIC JUSTIC BATTAL WITH THE KRIMINALZ IN IVY LEAGUE, as they had INVADED his beloved home of Hadozeko. So together we decided to FIGHT THE ENIMIE IN A SPECIAL JUSTIC SQUAD, Kingwood is a great pilot, but the most important thing I've learnt is that if he says, LS TACKLE THAT CURSE and I'm in an expensive cruiser THEN I SHOULD IGNORE HIM AND WARP OFF.

BATTAL ROBOT OFFICAH LEELOO MALAQUIN

Some may know of Leeloo from his Rifter video, if you don't then you should watch it cos its pretty stylish. Incidentally I'm in it AS THE ONLY RIFTER HE SHOOTS AT THAT DOESNT EXPLODE \o/ though sadly he escapes from me. :(

I've come across Leeloo many times in the past year partially on account of him being in the same corp as my homie Kimura Masahiko. But recently I've teamed up with him to roam AND HUNT DOWN KRIMINALS *, including but not limited to EVE UNIVERSITY. Leeloo is possibly the pilot I've flown with THAT IS MOST LIKE ROBOCOP, his piloting is very precise, his tactics efficient, he also seems to always remain rather calm. CLEARLY SOME SORT OF ROBOTIC OFFICAH, and thankfully for us HE IS ON THE SIDE OF JUSTIC.

GF GF EVE UNIVERSITY

o7o7o7o7o7o7o7 MISTER KINGWOOD AND OFFICAH LEELOO MALAQUIN

*(that guy was with kriminal draek boats but they refused to explode while he kept returning)

A Rare Sight

Is that?.....

no, it can't be......

IT IS!!!

A SOLO EVE UNI BATTLECRUISER WTF!!!

The brave blobless eve uni Harbinger with none of his kriminal fold nearby engaged my Hurricane battleboat of the Ardar gate in Hadozeko, I opened fire a little warily, half expecting a cyno to light, spewing forth a million 10day old blackbirds. It didn't, Bc one on one was a go. \o/

As my RF Fusion starts hitting I soon realise that this Harbinger has a shield tank. Though I'm not contemplating the dent of red on his shields long before 5 Vespa EC-600s appear and I promptly get jammed. WELL THAT WAS NOT ENTIRELY UNEXPECTED.

I take this opportunity to switch out to RF EMP, and burn away from the Harb so he has to switch out to Scorch, which although hurty would be less hurty than faction Multifrequency.

Now to wait out the jams.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

WOOOO \o/ I finally get a lock as my buffer cane hits half armour, I make short work of the Vespas with my 220mm's as I'm burning away from them making them easy to track. Vespas down I swing round and get in a tight Orbit of the Harbinger.

I went for a tight orbit as him being a shield tanked Harbinger meant that he wasn't going to have a cap booster to support his very cap hungry lazors, and as a double medium neut cane with most of their armour buffer gone, it was in my best interests to make myself as hard to track as possible WHILE I OVERHEAT MY NEUTS AND DESTROY THE KRIMINALZ OFFENSIVE CAPABILITIES \o/

I'm in low armour by the time his lazors switch off, and with his lazors drained of cap, and no damage drones, I'm highly confident that I won't be taking anymore damage, so I proceed to move out from my close orbit...

AND BRAWL THE KRIMINAL DOWN \o/

GF GF

And props to stigirl for engaging on an even footing despite their corp ticker.

o7o7o7

Official Gallanta police boats

Official Gallanta boats have been the flavour for me the past few days, namely the Myrm and the Comet. Gunna cut straight to the battle reports in this instalment

MYRM, VEGNANCE VS BADDIES

I was roaming around the Taff, Gurkala, Ualkin area in my Myrm, when I noticed on scan a Dominix and Megathron ENGAGING IN ILLEGAL VIGILANTI ACTIVITIES. So I hopped into a probe to discover their location and called out for tackle backup from officer Sassy B, who responded in a Vegnance class space boat. WE WARPED IN TO DISPENCE JUSTIC and caught the Dominix on the warp in. We then noticed we were being probed and decided to check out the incoming gank squad, as we were deep in Kriminal territory and the Domi pilot had many ruffian friends. I warped off and Sassy moved from the warp in when a tackle Vexor piloted by the Domi pilot arrived. Sassy then observed a Drake land as I was warping the myrm back in. The Vexor had warped off and I landed on top of the Drake and began to go to work on his shields. Then the Vexor landed and pointed and webbed me, Sassy burned in to put point on the Vexor, and soon a Megathron landed and started shooting at me as well. At this point I decide to pop some exile, and I started to move into a close orbit of the Megathron. The Drake monster then explodes, and we primary the Vexor as it seemed to be the only boat with tackle. The cruiser soon succumbed to our combined damages. Blipping d-scan we notice a Macharial as we were grinding down the Megathron, and made the decision that if it landed we should bail. Then predictably when the Mega was in Low Armour the Mach landed 20k off :( so we warp out. I would say GF GF but I WON'T, AS THE KRIMINALS SENT US A MEAN EVE MAIL AND SASSY AND I ARE SENSITIVE OFFICAHS WAT LIKE PONIES AND RAINBOWS.

MYRM VS DRAEK, DRAEK, & WOLF SPACEBOAT

I was patrolling Ardar as per usual when I was greeted by d-scan showing a Red Alliance Drake sitting in top belt. Well this is very clearly bait so I hopped into my trusty Myrm and watched local and the scanner for a bit, It looked like his gang was p.small Drake Drake Wolf. Shortly after the bait left system one Drake and Wolf were sat on the Frer gate so I warped to it and as expected they jumped through with me and I let them tackle. I moved into orbit of the Drake, and put web scram Warriors on the Wolf. I soon noticed the Wolf Trying to run......IN A STRAIGHT LINE AWAY FROM ME VERY SLOWLY \o/ so I naturally turned my AC's onto him and he kindly blew up.

I brought in the Warriors, and released the Hammerheads ready for the slow grind that is breaking the tank of a Drake, By now the 2^nd Drake had landed and I was under the fire of many many navy scourge missiles. At this point I should mention that after seeing the Drakes I'd swapped a kinetic hardener onto my Myrm :P

I played the recall and relaunch drones game for some time, managing to keep all my Hammers alive, I also was trying to conserve cap boosters and rep only the amount needed to not go into hull.

Briefly a MINMATAR COMMUNITY SUPPORT OFFICAH in a Claw opened fire on me, but left when I flashed the Gallanta police badge, and accused him of being AN AMARR SPY.

Time passed...

...FINALLY the first Drakes shield broke peak recharge, The Kriminal then tried to deagress BUT THIS OFFICAH IS NOT SHOOTING ALL THAT AMMO FOR NOTHING, a good solid bump sent his boat hurtling away from the gate, leaving him no choice but to explode. Unfortunately on seeing his friend hit hull the 2^nd Drake warped out.

GF GF

POLIC COMET VS PIRAT DRAMIEL

The official police frigate VS the renowned Pirate vessel THE ULTIMATE FRIGAT BATTAL FOR JUSTIC. Sassy and I had been chasing a Crow about, when Sass noticed a Dramiel on scan. I undocked my Comet and warped to a belt at zero, where I dispensed justic to the angel pirate rats. Sass was at range from the belt as he was hoping a Crow might land and burn at his Vigil.

Eventually the Dramiel landed and BATTAL BEGAN. Sassy's Vigil was to far off to make it into the fight so it was a 1v1 brawl, Null S loaded and afterburner heated I moved in and landed my web and scram, WOOO HE ISNT WEBBING ME HE'S DUAL PROP \o/

This is very important for fighting a dram in a blaster Comet, because you really want to control range and an ab/web Dramiel will control range on any boat short of a Daredevil or Cruor. The fight was brutal, I hit hull as he hit armour, my repper burning hot, clawing armour back as my hull slowly bled, It was too close to call, and both of us were in it till someone exploded. THEN BOOM target lost

Did I explode???

Did he explode???

HE EXPLODED, YAY \o/

My Comet looted the field, very much on fire with just 9% Hull remaining

GF GF

BATTALING THE PIRAT

September 1^st and the way I like to start any new month is BATTALING THE PIRAT MENACE. I logged on in Police headquarters Thukker Mix, in Ardar. And surprise surprise LOCAL IS FULL OF PIRATS. The pirates were Back to Yarrr flavour pirates, generally good for a fight and nearly always in numbers. Seeing that there were a few in local I undock the justice Tempest and blip the dscan. CYCLON, HURRIKAN, DOMIX, hmm okay TO THE PLANET. I warp in at range from a safe and am soon joined by a cane who burns towards me, I align let him catch up a bit and slam on the mwd as his friends get closer on my scanner. I start cycling the neuts and 800mm's on the cane, his shield is stripped fast, and I begin to go to work on his crunchy Armour centre, unfortunately he turns tail sooner than I was expecting and manages to get out of point range and warp. New Local enters, Back to Yarrr, blip the scanner DRAEK BOAT. Okay manageable, the Cyclone is now overheating mwd at me and closing fast, I lock him up but hold fire until he's well in the danger zone of my turrets, as I really don't wanna miss this kill as well as the cane. Cyclone at 11k GO GO POLIC AUTOCANNONZ. Like the cane he starts to bug out, however this time I'm more ready I flip my pest around heat mwd and Brawl the Pirat man down. During all this the Domi had warped off and back in on the Cyc, as the Cyc exploded I started to move away from the Domi, but not before having my cap drained to nothing, meaning a lot of spamming of my cap boosters. Safely out of heavy neut range now, and the DRAEK BOAT is burning at me fast, I click to top up the pitiful amount of phased plasma in my guns. Ummm oh dear someone's Police boat isn't well stocked for ammo, all I have is Barrage, not really ideal but will have to do, I Load it up and fire some long range rounds at the injured cane 57k off while I await the MIGHTY DRAEK BOAT. Drake hits about 18k and I decided to check my cargo to assess the cap booster situation because I'm gunna need to do some heavy neuting soon on this clearly scram fit DRAEK BOAT. No boosters left dammit, stupid neuty domi, The combination of cap being low, having no boosters left, and having barrage loaded for a DRAEK, brings me to the conclusion that I should bail, The Draek kindly webs me into warp.

Not to long later I hear of KRIMINAL MASTARMIND PERSEPHONE ASTRID, who incidentally IS YET TO MAKE ME A CAKE. And another Bastard a Mister RoninData roaming close by. I know RoninData is in a Taranis but when I flew about to do some reconnaissance in the pest I didn't clock Astrids boat, nevermind i'll go ship to fight the ranis, I hop into A MIGHTY JUSTIC VIGIL LAW BOAT, and go a chasing. Astrids in a Crow WACK, although I reckon I can take a Crow down in my vigil it's a dicey fight so really I need to go for the ranis. I give chase. Astrid orbits me at a gate at 100 for a while with the ranis clearly close by on Dscan, DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID PERSEPHONE ASTRID I AM NOT ROLLING OFF THE GATE WITH THE RANIS SO CLOSE AT LEAST SEND HIM TO A FURTHER SAFE IF YOU WANT TO TRY THAT TRAP.

Astrid then warps off to the Klogori gate, the ranis I assume does as well. I give chase and being pirates in two interceptors they decide to try and keep moving ahead of me instead of making battal. THEN THEY ARE UNDONE BY THEIR NATURAL DESIRE TO PICK ON THE WEAK. I jump into Orfrold after them, I hold cloak, as I see a potential pve cane on scan, easy and tempting prey for two pirate intys, so I rightly assume they are holding cloak looking to see where he is. Astrid then warps in the canes direction PERFECT, I know full well Astrid won't engage if RoninData had warped for tackle, as shes a pew for profit kinda gal, but from what I know of Mr Ronindata from hearing other Bastards talk of him, is that he's the type who's well up for a GF GF. I uncloak dcu on preheat ab, sure enough the brave Mr RoninData uncloaks and goes for me. \o/

I go to work on the Ranis, Astrid arrives when he's in half hull and starts slamming missiles into my vigil from outside of point range. The Taranis explodes in flames of Justice just as Astrid gets into point range. I then obviously being in deep hull at this point go down. After this I realise I had forgotten a damage rig :( this would of saved my Vigil cos really popping the ranis one volley earlier would of let me get out.

Soon after when PERSPHONE ASTRID had logged off WITHOUT GIVING ME ANY CAKE. Mr RoninData and I agree to a good ol' fashioned Rifter 1v1. I assume he's gunna be Cookie cutter plate, repper, ac's, ab, full tackle, and I decide to grab an Arty Rifter from my hanger, a fit that I totally stole, and slightly modified from a very talented local solo warrior named Snippse. I hold range throughout the fight and Mr RoninData satisfyingly explodes.

GF GF

Nothing to see here

One of the advantages of being a MAVERICK OFFICAH is that we don't have to live by THE BOOK and can use unsanctioned methods to ENFORC JUSTIC, methods like utilizing the boats of kriminals against them.

This officer, a while back, came into the possession of two Cynabal class space boat vessels of KRIME LORDS THE ANGAL KARATL. Flying them feels somewhat like cheating, its like a Vagabond with the agility of a Taranis which is an intensely MIGHTY combination. I recently bust some small kriminal gangs in them, even though 1v3 victories totally don't count as awesome in a Cynabal, I SHALL STILL LOG THE BATTALS INTO POLIC RECORDS.

JUVENILE DELINQUENT OFFICAH

I hadn't been logged on long, and had just undocked to group up drones and run routine safety checks on my 2^nd more maverick fit Cynabal. When on scan I spot A GROUP OF YOUFFS, flying WITHOUT LICENCES while UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES, the gang then proceeded to LOITER at a planet, unfortunately I arrived on the scene as the last youff was leaving. I then decided to patrol the top belt, soon enough a Punisher lands 20k from me and points me with a disruptor, he's followed shortly by a Thrasher. My 425s at 20k make very quick work of the Punisher. I then switch to the Thrasher as a Harpy lands on me at 0. I Finish the Thrasher. And hit my MWD as the Harpy gets scram and web on me, the momentum of the mwd burst before the scram hit takes me to 10k meaning that its soon all over for the Harpy.

THE AMARR KRIMINAL MENACE

A few days later I decide to undock my more standard fit Cynabal, Very quickly I notice that AMARR KRIMINALS are assaulting a local Minmatar Outpost. I scan Ishkur, Wolf, Kestrel and Thorax class space boats, I warp without thinking and land on the acceleration gate. OH NOES their not in the plex IT TWAS A CUNNING RUSE, their all on the acceleration gate. The Ishkur and Wolf scram me, I lock all the ships up turn my neut on the Ishkur and overheat my Afterburner. No web on me and me with a heated afterburner being faster than the two sluggish Assault frigs means that The Ishkur is soon reduced to wreckage. Closely followed my his accomplice in the Wolf. The other kriminals panic and try to run, The Kestrel gets out but I manage to grab point on the Thorax. Needless to say his attempt at RESISTING ARREST was foiled.

As I was gathering evidence from the battle, I became SHOCKED AND APPALLED when a KRIMINAL SPY UNCLOAKED. I Lock up the offending Cheetah and with the aid of my 425s PREPARED HIS BOATS FOR KRIME SCENE EVIDENCE PROCESSING.

GF GF

Blog Banter: SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

Welcome to the twentieth installment of the EVE Blog Banter, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to crazykinux@gmail.com. Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

With the recent completion of the 3rd installment of the Hulkageddon last month,

@CyberinEVE , author of Hands Off, My Loots!, asks: "Griefing is a very big part of EVE. Ninja Salvaging, Suicide Ganking, Trolling, and Scamming are all a very large part of the game. What do you think about all these things? You can talk about one, or all...but just let us know your overall opinion on Griefing, and any recommendations you may have to change it if you think it's needed."

So since this blog banter is about griefing, then I should clearly take the time to highlight the common problem of SPACE POLIC HARASSMANT.

OFFICAHS ARE HERE FOR UR PROTECTION

The Gallanta space police force operate under a STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT, but we DO NOT have to tolerate SPACE BOAT or VERBAL ABUSE from kriminalz and disruptive citizens. Such actions may result in a FIXED PENALTY NOTICE or in some extreme cases THE USE OF SPACE BOATS TO FORCEFULLY ADMINISTER JUSTICE.

UNGRATEFUL CITIZANZ

A common form of abuse towards Gallanta Police Officers comes from VIGILANTES UNDER ARREST. Many vigilantes when caught, DENY KRIMINAL ACTIVITY, they probably believe this, as the twisted mind of a kriminal is a complex thing, so to them engaging in acts of MURDER towards Angel, Sansha, Serpentis, Gurista and Blood Raider “Pirates” WITHOUT TRIAL is acceptable 'because they are kriminals' it seems they don't realise that EVIDENCE IS NEEDED and kriminals must be dealt with THROUGH OFFICAL CHANNELS. More importantly they fail to realize it is also for THEIR OWN PROTECTION members of the public are not properly trained, and therefore are putting the lives of themselves in danger while seeking acts of revenge upon VIOLENT KRIME LORDS. Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru have received MANY ABUSIVE LETTERS and had to put up with ENRAGED VIGILANTES shouting harassment at us in both local and private channels. Yet our dedication to justice must prevail and despite this ATTEMPTED GRIEFING we know that it is our duty to continue.

GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS

Many kriminals take drastic measures to grief Gallanta police by trying to stop us in our pursuit of justice using large overkill gangs with KRIMINAL ISSUE FALCONS, BLACKBIRDS, GRIFFINS AND HORNET EC-300's. Not allowing me to violence your boat through these means is a GROSE MISUSE OF GAME MECHANICS TO HINDER THE GAMEPLAY ENJOYMENT OF ME. Many learn this in the CORRUPT EDUCATION SYSTEM implemented through one of Eve's biggest kriminal institutions EVE UNIVERSITY, where innocent noobs are taken and taught how to become mindless swarming kriminal henchmen. And many learn this from the perpetuated myth that putting your INTERNET SPACESHIP at risk is bad because eve isn't an internet spaceship game where one might enjoy the excitement of space boat violence but V. SRS. BUISNESS WHERE IF ANYTHING SHOOTS AT YOU IT IS A CATASTROPHE.

DEALING WITH GRIEFING

Due to a DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT with previous diplomat SASSY B, involving a S3verance diplomat and the terms “fat”, “ugly”, and “slag”. The KFCKICC, headed up by Djuba was set up in order to limit harassment both from and towards officers. Below is linked Djuba's Bio which explains the KFCKICC's roll

“Hello, my name is Djuba and I am the Head of the Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru Independent Complaints Commission (KFCKICC)

The KFCKICC's job is to make sure that complaints against the Kru are dealt with effectively.

It helps the Kru learn lessons and improve the way they serve the community.

The KFCKICC is independent, making its decisions entirely independently of the Kru, the Minmatar Republic and the Gallente Federation.

Complaints about the overall policies and procedures of the Kru rather than the behaviour or conduct of a member do not fall within the remit of the KFCKICC. These should be directed to Chief Executive Officer Tony Ockabasi.”

In terms of dealing with “GRIEFING THROUGH LAMENESS” clearly the answer is to violence peoples boats till they realise they are internet pixels ESPECIALLY VIOLENCE THE ECM ONES.

EVIDENCE COLLECTION

Ardar was pretty empty, not long ago i'd lost a Tempest to a battlecruiser gang, and the wreck was 60k off the Hadozeko gate. So being the enterprising young officer that I am I hop into my VIGIL BOAT OF JUSTICE ENFORCEMENT AND EVIDENCE RECOVERY, to go and salvage my wreck. I notice in an intel channel that “The Entity” a terribad alliance who like to bait and blob are a few jumps out in 3 Hurricanes, I don't pay much attention to it though as there is evidence to be recovered.

I land on the gate and head out to the wreck, lock it up and proceed to salvage. Then local jumps up and the gate flashes. An Entity Rifter and Stiletto uncloak and start burning towards me with MWD's.

THIS IS A KRIME SCENE AND OFFBOUNDS TO MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC.

I lock up the Rifter as he screeches into scrambler range, I move to 7k from him and turn on my rails making sure to stay within 5k of the Tempest wreck to continue salvaging.

SALVAGE SUCCESSFUL \o/

Then the interfering Rifter explodes, and I turn my attention to the Stiletto that is pointing me from 20k, and the three Hurricane class boats steaming towards me. I burn away from the Hurricanes gaining some distance, then turn a harsh 180 degrees, heat my afterburner and scramble the Stiletto.

The intercepter pilot is soon, much like his Rifter friend in a POD!

His explosion however coincided with a Hurricane getting into long point range, with my Vigil in deep structure and precious evidence in my cargo hold it seems attempting arrest of the Hurricanes would be fool hardy, so I burn out of point range and warp with 28% Hull.

I dock up in Thukker mix to process the evidence.

GF GF

Scrap Metal Battle Boat

Sassy B rather recently got T2 battleship guns, this is something I was TOTALLY JEALOUS OF, so I've been training for them myself. Just eleven days to go \o/. My impatience has led me to roam this weekend in a cheap tempest with 300k isk named guns. All in all I lost about 20mil after insurance, when it exploded a few hours ago. I TOTALLY GOT MY ISKS WORTH!

FIRST BLUD!!!

Newly fit up I jump into Floseswin, I warped to the Uisper gate and when I land the gate flashes, so I decide to see what arrives. An Arazu appears and then cloaks up 15k from me. A Wolf class space boat then de cloaks and tackles me. I lock it up and hold my aggro waiting for the Arazu which I intended to primary. Then the Arazu de cloaks and attacks 10K FROM ME!!! lol wat. I then turn my gaze to the Wolf, who had kindly started moving to 13k TO BE IN HIS SMALL ARTY OPTIMAL??? needless to say that was somewhat a better distance for me to track him at.

MIGHTY GALLANTA BATTALKRUISER!!!

Satisfied that my pest had already earned its keep. I head out a little later towards Ezsur. Upon arriving in Ezsur I'm promptly tackled by a Myrm. I DECIDE TO MAKE BATTAL. The Myrm is orbiting me close and has me webbed and scrammed, and I'm having a rather hard time tracking him. But first things first, an opportunist AMARR KRIMINAL had landed in a Rupture and targeted me. I fire a couple of Volleys at him stripping his shield, and he obviously gets the hell out or Ezsur.

My Neuts are on the Myrm, and he's dropping my armour at a steady pace, while my guns are scratching at his armour which is repped up quickly, I'm patient, and eventually my neuting starts to show, he loses point and web, I gain a few clicks and my guns start to track better before he gets his scram/web back on. Then he loses scram/web again, now I'm at 4k, hitting him harder as my own armour dips below 20%. Then Again, I'm at 11k now, at this point I'm just about to trickle into Hull, but this fight is now going to be over quick. The Myrm's hull shatters. And The Tempest holds the field

GF GF

SUPER HAPPY FUN HADOZEKO

Sassy had an unfit Armageddon hull sitting in Egmar. So I offer to scout it back to Ardar in my Tempest. Upon jumping into Hadozeko, I, in a COMPLETLY PRO miss click then warp to the wrong gate. After landing on the Resbroko gate I proceed to sit confused and motionless in space, trying to figure out how I could possibly be getting the Resbroko gate on d-scan from the Klogori gate. After about a minute of being completely baffled by my own mistake, A HULK. I repeat A HULK, uncloaks 15k off me. I stare at it in wonderment on my overview for a few seconds, it doesn't appear to be doing anything....OMG WHAT AM I DOING STARING AT IT, TARGET TARGET. I then proceed to violence it.

So now I have GCC in Hadozeko, WHAT AN AWESOME SCOUT I AM! An intel channel then lights up, seems a Battlecruiser heavy Black Rabbits gang is in Ardar, with a Phobos and some AF's.

A Harpy appears on D-scan, a very obvious rabbits Harpy. Its in a belt near the Ardar Gate. I warp in at range and the rabbits Harpy heads towards me, then my overview fills with Rabbits about 50k off, PERFECT. Fair well little Harpy, your hull looked so happy and unassuming yet JUSTICE MUST PROVAIL. I warp out after the kill as the rest of the rabbits were approaching point range, and a plated battleship isn't the ideal boat for 1 v many nano antics.

FALCON, FALCON, FALCON, FALCON.............INSURANCE.

I'm not even sure I have to say a lot about a solo loss with four Falcons on it really, hardly a battle and needless to say my Tempest is now in VALHALLA.

After today I've decided that battleships are clearly very fun solo boats, and I am now totally looking forward to T2 large AC's.

Vigil of justice

The past few days I have mostly been rolling in a Vigil.

I’m in Ardar, and a chap named d3an0 seemed rather keen on owning one of my corpses, unwilling to pay my REASONABLE special price for one. I then offered to put a corpse of mine in the cargo of my Vigil and 1v1 his Incursus, he agrees, His Incursus is blaster,

Web + scram + afterburner + rails + superior speed of the Vigil = Dead Incursus

Convinced I won because of my web, he asks to fight me in his Catalyst with a NO WEB SPECIAL COMBAT RULE.

The Catalyst doesn’t fair well.

Later on I engage a Kriminal Amarr Crow class boat, after some fancy maneuvers I manage to web and scram him. My rails go to work, his standard missiles are also hurting me rather alot. We hit hull together, COME ON LIL VIGIL COME ON…………

Unfortunately I exploded first. I then docked up, put some more Vigils in the oven, and logged for the night.

A few days later back in a brand spanking new Vigil. An Amarr Kriminal in a Thrasher is spotted in Ardar. Officer Sassy B is in Pursuit in a Vigil Lazor Issue Police Boat, Sassy B engages and the Thrasher RESISTS ARREST. I arrive a little late as Officer Sassy explodes.

Like any maverick detective avenging the death of their plutonic police officer partner in krime prevention. I ATTACK. The Thrasher tries to de-aggress, BUT THE FIRERY OVERHEATED RAILS OF MY VIGIL DEMAND REVENGE. The Thrasher changes his mind and starts to fire back but it is too late by then and JUSTICE IS SERVED.

But at a great price.

I then decide to go partake in a little hobby of mine that I like to call “BLOWING UP BLACK RABBITS ACADAMY KRIMINALS”

On my way to Auner I spot a Rabbits Rifter. I use my awesome undercover skills to sit at a planet in my Vigil disguised as a Civilian waiting to be mugged. Of course I’m the only person in local so he MIGHT know it’s me.

He lands on the planet and I move in for arrest, web, scram, afterburner on, get range…

…wait a sec… he’s not shooting me?

Then my drone control window disappears…

……….NOOOOOO NOT MY POLICE ISSUE HINDERANCE BOAT. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE DEATH OF MY BELOVED SIDEKICK “WARRIOR 2”.

I overheat my guns “NOW YOU DIE KRIMINAL”

He is destroyed in a cascade of Federation Navy Antimatter.

I snag the pod and no bail is offered.

OFFICER DOWN

Over a year ago I bought a Bellicose. I bought it because I could fly Minnie cruisers, I couldn't fly them very well, and I couldn't find a good use for the boat I'd christened “Income Support”, and so for a long time it gathered dust. Later on it took on the roll of go to comedy boat to be refit in strange ways for specific purposes. It spent considerable time with a 1600mm plate and small guns for ganking frigs. I even once gave it a full set of scrams to tackle a multi stabbed smart bombing Typhoon class boat camping a gate in Ardar.

After finally learning T2 medium Auto cannons Income Support took on a new roll, that of AN ELITE BATTLE WARRIOR JUSTICE BOAT. It was rigged and prepped for combat.

It had many skirmishes, and endeared itself to me when it dispatched of a Hurricane boat that attacked me on a station in Sirekur.

Last night Income Support fell in EPIC BATTLE, and possibly the best cruiser 1v1 I've ever been involved in. A honourable fellow named Owen Drakkar offered me a cruiser battle, in fact he actually offered me a battle between his Rupture and my Vagabond. But in 1v1s unless its really insisted I prefer to be in a boat of an equal or underestimated class.

(Don't get me wrong if I'm roaming in a HAC and encounter a cruiser/frig/destroyer or whatever I'd be the first to engage.)

Owen agrees to battle my mighty Bellicose, and goes to get his Rupture.

By the fact he'd offered to fight my Vagabond, I was assuming fall-off Rupture. I was further assured of this when we both warped to 50 at the agreed planet of battle and landed on each other.

I had a range script loaded into my Tracking Disrupter and Barrage in my guns. We quickly zoomed to range of each other. I was faster than him so made sure to stay at the edge of point range, and tried to keep angular high with the TD turned on to reduce incoming damage while the great battle of the drones began.

Owen's bay was full of Warrior 2's, my Bellicose contained a max damage set up of 3x Hammerheads and 2x Hobgoblins. Warriors being faster and better at tracking other drones, meant I had to pull drones in more often, and if we continued as such I would surely lose the drone battle. So I changed tactics, we were rather far apart so every time he sent out a drone after recalling, I flew away from him kiting the drone and turning my guns on it. After a considerable amount of time all his Warriors were down and I had 2x Hobgoblins remaining. However I'd taken several Wrecking shots and I was in deep armour, I used my speed advantage to fly far off to recover shield, Owen burnt out his mwd, I suspect chasing me at this point but I'm not 100% sure. The fight had been very long, and in our private chat Owen had suggested that maybe it was a draw. But the BELLICOSE DEMANDED THAT ONE OF US EXPLODED. Having recovered about 30% shield I turned and went back in. Keeping angular up at about 20k we slugged it out, and it looked like I was just edging it, I needed his shields to fall first as I had no armour. And they did. Then DISASTER the heat from my point burnt out my mwd, this made it considerably harder to keep a high angular and although my TD was reducing damage, his damage on me increased, my shield fell when he was in about half armour, and it became a race he was ahead in, guns blazing hot my hull started to take damage, one of my gun cycles later his hull started to turn red. I hit half hull before him. Then inevitably I exploded with Owen in deep hull.

GF GF OWEN DRAKKAR

and R.I.P Income Support

Needless to say, after such an epic, long, and fun battle, I immediately bought a new Bellicose, and Welfare Check has been added to the Kenssy fleet.

New Shoes?

People say the Stiletto is a gang tackler, in fact they say it's an awesome gang tackler, it's fast, it has four mids, it has an extra long point. Their right, it is a good gang tackler. I love Stilettos I really enjoy flying them.

Thing is...

...I don't have a gang.

I fly solo the majority of the time, other than that its with my homie Sassy B in MIGHTY RIFTERS.

What people don't say about Stilettos is that they are hardcore auto cannon solo brawlers.

Someone in an Intel channel once told me, “a puppy dies every time someone armour tanks a Stiletto”

People tend to favour Taraniseseseseseses, Claws, and Crusaders for solo work.

I dogfight in afterburner, scrambler, PLATED Stilettos.

Stiletto VS Taranis

The Taranis, Its fast, its fun, and it packs a hell of a punch. An Amarr Kriminal in a BLATANT ACT OF TERRORISM attacks my Stiletto while I was out on patrol in Ardar.

I view his boat and clock his blasters. So I load an optimal range script into my TD and fill my AC's with Barrage S. I decide that 2 drones is tankable if I can avoid his blaster dps. His momentum takes him into blaster optimal and he scores some big hits, but I web, and scram him, and fire up the AB raining barrage on him from 6k. I Nos one of his Hobgoblins (I'm not entirely sure if this works but I do it anyway just incase). He explodes, with my Stiletto still in half armour.

TAKE THAT KING OF BRAWLING INTYS.

Stiletto VS Federation Navy Comet.

The Navy Comet, basically a Tougher higher Dps Taranis, with better range, and a bigger drone bay.

A piratical type appears to have stolen one off of a Gallente Police Officer.

UNLICENCED STOLEN VEHICLES MUST BE TURNED OVER TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES OR BE DESTROYED.

I view his boat and spot Neutrons, so I leave in the Barrage and optimal range script from the Taranis fight. Assuming he had null loaded those Neutrons on a comet can be nasty.

First things first though, two flights of t2 light drones are my most pressing concern, Warriors then Hobgoblins. Holding the Comet at 9k to be sure, I go to work on his drones. As I'm doing this, he is managing to sling closer every now and again landing hits on me. At one point I cap out using my repper and my afterburner turns off, landing him a couple of nasty shots before I get it turned on again. The final drone dies with me in deep deep hull, but with them dead, the fight is in theory mine, I manage to claw back some armour with occasional rep cycles, and venture closer to bring the HUGE DPS of my 2 gunned barraging Stiletto fighting at the edge of fall off to bare. Eventually the UNAUTHORIZED VESSLE explodes, The Kriminal however manages to escape in his pod avoiding Total Justice.

Stiletto + Rifter VS Kriminal blob /w Falcon + Blackbird

Every fun boat always dies eventually, and like so many of my boats my Stiletto meets its end with many people on its loss mail including my Arch Nemesis the Falcon and its ugly little brother the Blackbird.

Sassy's Rifter however did make it out scoring a Rifter Kill in the process. \o/

GF GF

Wolf spaceboat makes bad things go away

I logged on today in Ardar to see Snippse in local, Snippse is a lovely fellow who roams around the local area, usually solo in an AF or a Rifter. I undock my rail Ishkur and scan him in a Wolf. So I fly to the nearest planet and wait for him to arrive, he does shortly and HIGH OCTANE BATTLE commences.  Antimatter loaded and having a web I feel confident I can make short work or his 2 mid boat, my drones tear through his armour and it becomes apparent that he’s going down, his structure is disappearing fast, then a curious thing happens.

He warps off …WTF…

Turns out I forgot to turn my point on /o\

Being the optimist I am, I decide that clearly that’s the only silly mistake I’ll probably make today so I hop in a Brutix and go on a roam.  I WAS WRONG, SO WRONG. Not far into my roam I encounter a Hurricane in Sosala, and apparently if you focus on managing your tank, and only turn on two of your guns and not your web then Hurricanes make your Brutix explode.

Great, now I’m in Amarr space with no boat. Checking the market tab I notice a Wolf for sale in nearby highsec, PERFECT. I fly my pod on over and the system seems pretty empty so I buy the Wolf and some stabs and make my way to Auga to fit it up.

I Roam as far as Arnher in Metropolis, when I notice a Crusader and Jaguar on scan, the Jag soon disappears and it looks like the Sader is on a FW plex, I warp to it and the Sader is 100k off he then warps to a planet TWENTY TWO AU AWAY I follow but he isn’t there,  I warp to the plex again and he’s there 20k off, he zooms straight at me and we brawl. The Crusader being no real match for the firepower of my Wolf barely scratches my armour before he Pops. I quickly snag the pod to add another corpse to the corp freezer.

I head back to Ardar to find the Jaguar I’d scanned earlier sitting on my beloved Thukker Mix, he locks me up and I him, but he doesn’t fire. Really not being in the mood for waiting for him to engage I warp to Ardar IV and inform him in local. “Thinking” is his reply. I wait what seems like FOREVER for him to finally gain some courage and he appears on grid. I overheat my Neut in the hope of turning his web off limiting his ability to run, this works beautifully and his web, scram, and afterburner all turn off as he hits half shield as he was also draining his cap by neuting me, with his Jaguar floating almost motionless in space, my Barrage completely shreds his remaining shields, armour and hull.

Satisfied that my Wolf has redeemed my earlier terrible piloting, I dock up and Log